My Neighbor Xavier

I never thought of myself as someone who would live in a gated community, but I ended up doing it.  Mainly, I have a lot of trouble sleeping, and it's nice that the neighborhood is pretty quiet.  Everywhere else I have lived, there always seems to be some jackass blasting music out of their car at 3 in the morning.  Also, in our last place, there was a church right next to us, and you could hear and feel the drums on Sundays, and sometimes all night on certain occasions.

So now we're on a private street.  Not a lot of cars around, except for those who are lost who don't understand what a "No Outlet" sign means.  The kids play outside almost everyday.  And they have made friends with other kids in the community.

One of those friends is Xavier, maybe a year or two older than Dusty, who is 6, but they get along really well.  On the rare moments that we are inside, Xavier comes to our door and knocks or rings the doorbell. Then he asks, "Can Dusty come out and play?"  It's so cute.  I'm so glad my kids can have that.

And sometimes Dusty goes over to Xavier's house and asks him to play.  There are a couple of other kids who hang out with them.  It's just really nice that they get to do that.

Xavier's mom tells him what time he needs to be home.  So when they are playing by our house, he comes up to me once in a while and asks what time it is.  Usually 8 o'clock is when he has to go.  And then he'll say goodbye and leave.  Sometimes Dusty walks him home, which is just a block away.

My Neighbor Foxhound

Yesterday morning, I sat down on a chair on my driveway, tying my shoes before going for my run.  There was this loud, ceaseless "beep, beep, beep" sound.  I looked up towards the street perpendicular to mine.  It was a moving truck backing up.  Pretty normal noise, but the volume was unnecessarily and extraordinarily loud.  After just a few seconds it did stop, and it felt like such a relief.

And then I was able to take in more of the situation.  One of my neighbors was moving out.  I was not close with them.  But I had gotten used to them.  As annoying as they could be sometimes.

I think it was the first full week of working from home during the pandemic in March, 2020, when I went for some outside time with my kids in the mornings.  We would be having a nice time, playing hockey or some other sports when we would just hear some loud child calling out somewhere.  We would look but couldn't see where it was coming from.

Eventually we figured it out.  It was our neighbor's kid, standing on the porch, calling out to another neighbor friend, probably on a porch or looking out their window from somewhere we couldn't see.  Anyways, the previous days, he or she must have been calling out from inside the porch door.  

The calling out didn't really bother me much.  It was kind of nice, I guess.  They get to see their friends from their houses, even though they couldn't play together.  But my kids found them annoying.

But what did bother me about the Foxhounds is that sometimes they would just let the kids play on the street unsupervised.  I get that we are in a gated community, but there are still cars around.  And visitors and delivery drivers do speed through the narrow streets despite the 15mph limit posted everywhere.  Sometimes the adults would be chatting away with their adult friends while the kids are just roaming around in the middle of the road.

But it's their life, I guess.  And with them moving away, they did survive, after all.  So far.

What else?  They had Christmas lights on the tree in the front of their house.  It would go on around Thanksgiving.  It stayed on until around Valentine's Day of 2021.  Or maybe even later.  We did the same.  I think our tree stayed up until Easter.  And so did the lights on our decks.

But yeah, they are moving away.  I don't know why I feel a little melancholy about it.  I don't even know them.  Nor frankly, do I really care about them.  It's just change, you know?  I guess I just like things to stay the way they are as much as possible.

During those stay at home days of the pandemic, I definitely got to know the neighbors a lot more.  There were many to whom I would always wave.  Nowadays, we barely look at each other.  There were some who would stop by and chat for a few.  Now they just move.  

And then there were some who just disappeared.  There was a family who would always walk by in the afternoons.  Sometimes I would see the little boy and girl, maybe six and eight, running through the street by themselves.  And I'm thinking, are they here alone?  But then trailing behind them would be the dad and mom and their black dog.  

One time the dad asked why we have Devils and Capitals gear.  I explained that the Devils were our team, but the Capitals were my kid's team.  I'm not sure he quite understood it.  But o-welles.  I was hoping that by the time fall came around, I would give them the info to join hockey.  But by then, they had disappeared.  They stopped coming around.  And I didn't see them anymore.

Obviously they moved.  And I know that we weren't close.  But it's still kinda sad that we didn't get to say goodbye and good luck.

There was actually this guy who did say something.  He was in his early twenties.  He used to walk by our street as my older kid Rusty would be doing his hockey drills.  We would say hello to each other and keep walking.  One day Rusty and his little brother Dusty were playing in the rain, and the guy came walking by and said, "It's just water."  It was a sudden rain and other neighbors had run away quickly to escape the downpour.

One day, we were outside again, me and my boys, and this car stops suddenly in front of our house.  The guy gets out and approaches me.  He said he was moving and he said good luck.  I said good luck to him, too.  And then he said that he always noticed me out playing with my kids and that I was a good dad and he just wanted to tell me that.  And he said he hoped he could be the same one day.  So that was nice.  And that was the most we ever talked.

There were a bunch of others, too, who have gone.  They would wave when they walk by our street.  And sometimes when my boys and I would skate or bike around the neighborhood, we would recognize them and wave.  As we go our way, my boys and I would say to each other, "Ah, so that's where they live".  

Maybe one day, we'll be on vacation or something somewhere and bump into an old neighbor and we would say, "Ah, so that's where they live now!"

My Neighbor Baldwin

I have a lot of regrets in my life.  One of them was back when I was in college.  I woke up one morning, looked out the window and saw a couple of ambulances in front of our street.  Eventually I found out that our next door neighbor had died.  And I regret not knowing about it, what the situation was, and if I could have helped.

Generally, I regret not offering to do more.  She wasn't that old.  She was in her fifties, maybe sixties.  But she had had a hip injury.  And there were complications.  At times during the day, you could hear the machine that would lift her wheel chair up or down the stairs.  But it wasn't too loud or annoying or anything.

What was loud or annoying though?  My drum kit.  I was in my early twenties, and I decided I wanted to learn and play the drums.  So I bought a set and practiced in our basement.  I bought it with my own money.  It would have been quieter to get an electronic one, but I couldn't afford it.  So I banged away, and yes, the neighbors on either side could hear it.  And feel it.

Eventually, I tried to limit it to like an hour.  Around 5 to 6 in the afternoon or something like that.  I can't remember specifically.  But still, it must have been annoying.  The neighbors on the other side had tenants renting their basement.  I noticed every time I would practice, they would go out.  I didn't put it together until later.  They were Filipinos, too nice to complain.  One time the owner came and knocked on my window.  He said he could hear me, all with a smile and everything.  He didn't seem too bothered, but I realize now that he was really trying to complain about it.  But just too nice.

Peggy's sister wasn't that nice about it though.  The Baldwins.  Both were named Peggy, for some reason.  Actually Margaret.  Which I didn't get.  When we first moved and they introduced themselves, she said her sister's name was Margaret, but we could call her Peg.  And that was her name also.

Anyways, one night I was practicing with my band and she knocked on the basement door and asked us to practice more quietly.  We obliged.  And she wasn't hostile or anything.  Just direct.  And honestly, I appreciated it.  At that age, my judgement of situations wasn't always the best.  And since no one was complaining, I assumed everything was all right.  So it was good to know that they were bothered.

But yeah, I wish now I offered to help more.  I only did so one time, and that is because she called.  I can't remember exactly now, but I think something had fallen off her clothesline onto the yard.  Or was it something with the clothesline itself?  But I came over and helped.  That was it.  We lived there for about five to six years.  I always meant to reach out, but was always preoccupied with other things.

And then one day she was dead.

One small thing I would do, every time it snowed, I would clear her steps.  There was an old broken down car that was always on her driveway.  The idea was that with it parked in front, it would seem like someone was home, to discourage break-ins, I guess.  I never cleared out the snow on it.  It seemed a bit much.  I probably should have taken the time to do so.  But at that age, I was just thinking, that car isn't going anywhere.

Her sister Peggy did thank me for clearing the steps but she also asked not to dump snow onto the car.  That was when she explained why they had it there on the driveway.  After she died, the car also just disappeared one day.  And then once in a while I would see a blue Jeep liberty in the space.  It was the new owner's.  He never introduced himself.  He was doing stuff to fix up the place, and it pissed me off because I the smell of paint would seep into our place.

We moved out soon after that.  I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to the neighborhood friends.  Eventually one of them told me he knocked on the basement door and the new tenants opened it.  And that was when he found out I had moved.

Queue Tips: Royale With Cheese

In "Casino Royale" there's a scene where this lady is sitting in the shower, fully clothed, with the water running.  Do people actually do that?  Have people actually done that?  That must really signify that she is really troubled or something.  And then James Bond comes in and joins her.  Like, let's just sit together on the shower floor and talk.

Anyways, I don't remember the rest of it.

Queue Tips: Spy Another Way

I was doing the laundry last week, but I forgot all about it.  It's still in the washing machine.  I guess I'll dry another day.  

In the beginning of "Die Another Day", the bad guys have James Bond at gunpoint.  The head bad guy tells them, "Kill the spy".  Instead of just shooting him then and there, they grab him and lead him elsewhere.  Is there a standard killing place for them?  Because they moved in unison in the same direction.  Like they knew exactly where to take him.

Anyway - spoiler alert - they end up not killing him.  He lives to die another day, apparently.  And the head bad guy himself is actually killed a few minutes later.  And then the head bad guy's dad and his army have Bond at gunpoint again.  And they don't shoot him again.  So he lives to die yet another day.

Sunday was a nice day.  I went to the park with my boys.  After a while, it started to get chilly.  So of course, we went to get ice cream.  The nearest place was McDonald's.  So we went.  And then I was like, you know what, it's been over a decade since I've had a Big Mac.  Screw it, I'll order one.  So I did.  And then the kids wanted McNuggets.  So I got about a dozen.  It tasted like cardboard.  I don't know why I did it, but I probably will never eat there again.  I guess I was thinking I would diet another day.

There was a scene where James Bond tries to shoot someone and finds out his gun isn't loaded.  So this guy who shoots people all the time and is very good with gadgets didn't realize his gun wasn't loaded when he carried it in the morning.  I mean, I would expect there to be a weight difference.

It really is amazing that they can keep churning these things, and they keep making money.  The theme song to this film really hurts the ears, and I don't think I can watch it again because of that.  I could tell you this film was worth watching, but I guess I will lie another day.

Queue Tips: I think I've had enough.

You might have noticed I haven't post here for a while.  I think I may finally have had enough of these James Bond films.

The theme song to "The World Is Not Enough" reminds me of "Superstar" by The Carpenters.  I think that latter song kind of fits with the James Bond films, actually.

In this movie, apparently a speed boat can drive through land.  I mean, if a gondola can do it, right?

Anyways, the bad guy reminds me of the guy who stars in "Monk".  Was that him?  Let me googalize it.  No.  That was Tony Shalhoub.  Imagine if Tony Shalhoub was in this film?  What would that be like?

There is also a character named Electra.  What if Carmen Electra played her?  I don't even know who that is or what she does, but wouldn't it be something?

Queue Tips: Val and Bill and Ted

I was a big Val Kilmer fan when I was in high school.  I used to rent VHS tapes from the public library.  In January 1996, I had "Tombstone" and "Beautiful Girls".  And then the next day or so, the Blizzard of 1996 came.  My mom was away somewhere, and I was home alone for those few days.  Everything was closed, so I had extra time to keep the tapes.  We didn't have cable TV, so we didn't have much else to watch.

I just watched "Tombstone" and "Beautiful Girls" over and over.  I rented "Beautiful Girls" because of, I don't know, the title, I guess.  And I liked it.  

I used to listen to WPLJ after school all the time.  They had this show called "The Rocky Allen Showgram".  One of the little contests they have is to quote a movie and stump the hosts.  Listeners would always call in and quote "Tombstone", and they would always guess it easily.  So that's why I rented "Tombstone".

I liked it.  I thought it was cool.  It was very quotable so I quoted it, too.  When I heard Val Kilmer would be the next Batman, I was very excited.  My friends and I all went to see it on the first day it was out, near the end of the school year.  I also liked that U2 was on the soundtrack.  I seemed to be the only kid who listened to that band.

I had been avoiding watching "Val" because I knew it would address his cancer, and I was sure it would make me sad.  Life is sad enough.  One morning, I decided to click on it just to watch a few minutes.  I ended up sitting through the whole thing.

This film is a documentary using primarily Kilmer's home videos.  You get a nostalgic feeling out of them, and the narration adds to the melancholy.  It's interesting that at the time I was watching "Tombstone" over and over, I was alone at home, and it definitely brought back some of that loneliness.

There are a lot of insights on how his career and life turned out.  You can see how his personal life affected him.  I liked seeing his process of auditioning and preparing.  He gives his point of view on why he decided to play the characters he did, such as Batman and why they were successful or not.

My friends and I actually also watched "The Island of Dr. Moreau" in the theatre in 1996.  I remember liking it.  I don't think my friends hated it.  Val gives his insight into what went wrong with that film as well.  Maybe I just liked seeing him, but I ended up buying the tape (I think on Columbia or one of those free trial subscription things) and watching that over and over, too.

I haven't seen a bunch of his later films, before his throat cancer.  I think the last one I saw was "Felon". I thought that was okay.  I think I rented "The Salton Sea" also but I couldn't get into it.  It seemed to be slow, and I had a bunch of other movies I wanted to get to.

One of the things that stuck with me is Val taking about his legacy.  He said, "I'm selling basically my old self, my old career" when he was at a "Tombstone" screening event.  Incidentally, I also watched "Bill & Ted Face the Music" recently.  That was basically what that movie was, selling their old selves and their old careers.  That one was sad to watch on a different level.  I wish they hadn't made it.

I still haven't seen the "Top Gun" sequel though.  I wonder how that made Val Kilmer look.  And I don't know who else is on it.  I don't think "Val" really made a big effort to understand the opposing point of view that he was difficult to work with.  And looking at his Wikipedia page, you can see that he did turn down some opportunities.  You can argue that he has been luckier than most, but regardless, feelings are valid.  It's interesting how much a decision can affect your entire life, like accepting roles like in "The Doors" or committing to a production and making personal sacrifices.  It's a good watch.  I think it will affect you even if you are not a fan.

Queue Tips: Singular Hilarity

I'm watching this movie called "Singularity".  It's just John Cusack watching a couple of characters elsewhere and commenting about it.  It's like an episode of MST3K except they don't mean to be funny.

Anyways, I'm working on a sequel for this now.  It's called "Doublarity".

Queue Tips: Dead and Gun

When I was growing up, my dad hired some prisoners to fix up our house.  He was most likely not paying them anything but food and beer.  They seemed happy to be just out of jail for a few hours.  One afternoon, one of them was singing a song.  He was not very well educated, from what I gathered, and he explained it was about someone being shot to death the previous day.  "Yesterday he's dead and gun," he said.  I'm not sure if he was kidding.

Apparently, the title for "Tomorrow Never Dies" was influenced by The Beatles song "Tomorrow Never Knows".  I must have heard this song at least once, but I don't remember any of it.  It's funny because when I was writing about "Live and Let Die", I actually pondered whether there were Beatles songs that could have been James Bond film titles.  Nothing really stands out when googalizing their singles.  There are some songs that apply to the character, such as "Please Please Me" and "Do You Want To Know A Secret".  "Cry for a Shadow" seems like an interesting title, but I can't recall that song either.  Maybe they can make a prequel to "Tomorrow Never Dies" called "Yesterday All My Troubles Were So Far Away".

I remember watching this film on New Year's Day in 1998.  I was sleeping over at a family friend's house, and we kind of randomly decided to go to the movies the next day.  He called up a couple of his friends and they came along.  They were a couple of years younger, and one of them seemed to really look up to me and laugh at all my jokes.  I must have spent New Year's Eve at his house, which is possible.  I can't remember if the rest of the family was there.

I don't remember much about the movie itself.  Or what we did after.  I remember we were walking around the mall before.  If I remember correctly, my friend got a Toyota Supra for Christmas.  We must have been driving around in it.  Maybe that was why we decided on the movies, just to have a place to go.

My friend was a big fan of action and martial arts.  He joined the wrestling team and I gathered he was pretty good at it.  He would watch TV shows like "Hercules", and actually he liked science fiction also.  Maybe I should have tried to share in his interests more, but I just was not fond of his taste.  He wasn't crazy about mine either.  I used to watch David Letterman religiously, and a couple of times he tried to sit through it with me.  He even went to see "Hot Shots: Part Deux" in the theatre with me when he came out.  Overall though, we really did not have much in common.

I found him a bit spoiled.  I mean, he received a sports car for Christmas.  And he lived in a nice, big house in the suburbs.  He also complained about having to go to the Philippines for vacation.  I was envious, to be honest.  And I resented that he didn't appreciate what he had.  Through the years we drifted apart.

It's taken me a while to realize it, but I didn't notice that each Bond film had a different score.  I kind of figured the would use the original James Bond theme.  It just has such a powerful sound, especially the brass instruments.

In this film, James Bond meets a woman who turns out to be his ex.  She is married but seems desperate to get back together with him.  Bond is supposed to be a class act, but he definitely seems to me to be the kind of guy who would just ghost you.  He probably never breaks up with women to their face.

Queue Tips: Reflections on the Golden Guy

In the gun barrel sequence, Pierce Brosnan just stands upright, shoots with the right hand, with the left hand hanging down by his hip.

I'm pretty sure I watched this in the theatre with my high school friends.  None of use were James Bond fans, but this film was marketed everywhere, so we decided to watch it.  What else was playing that day?  I'm not sure when we went to see it, but it was released in November 1995, and other big movies at the time were "Toy Story" (which we probably saw even though we were teenagers already), "Casino" (which I'm sure we didn't see, maybe because of the rating?) and "Heat" (which we watched because we were Val Kilmer fans after seeing him in "Tombstone").

It turned out to be pretty fun for us.  We were a bunch of teenage boys watching the beautiful women on the big screen, listening to the double entendre's and experiencing the cool gadgets and awesome action.  It felt like this was a James Bond film for us.

I had forgotten that the theme song was written by Bono and The Edge.  I was really into U2 since the early 90s, after I had gotten their Achtung Baby cassette for cheap from Columbia House.  I listened to that tape over and over.  And then I I got The Joshua Tree and listened to that also over and over.  I think I bought the War album from Sam Goody the previous year in 1994.  The clerk took the CD and made a point to show it to his co-worker and said that that was the album to listen to or something to that effect.  I had no reaction.  

Anyways, I was probably the only one of my friends who was looking forward to the film because of the theme song.  I knew it was going to be performed by Tina Turner, as I had read about it on the internet.  They had these things back then called zines or e-zines.  Do they still call it that?  I remember our Computer teacher Mr. P. sending one student to me to help him search something for a project.  This was before the googalizer.  I was most likely going yahoo.

As for Pierce Brosnan, I didn't really have an opinion either way.  I think I was optimistic that he would be good.  I knew he was from "Remington Steele" and I remember the reruns were on WWOR channel 9 weekday mornings.  I took a glimpse channel surfing when I was absent from school, but was never too captivated to pay attention, even though we never had cable growing up.  We were inundated with marketing campaigns, so I think we had it in the back of our minds that this new Bond was supposed to be good.  

Spoiler alert!  How does one fake being shot in the head assassination style?  Wouldn't James Bond have seen enough killing to know whether it was real?  Also, even if it was indeed faked, Bond set the building to explode, and we saw it explode.  Somehow the bad guy survived that?  How many of the henchmen did?  Did they all know to exit the building quickly, even though Bond set it go off to half the time?  These are things I never thought about at first viewing.  We were mostly talking about Miss Onatopp and her preferred method of execution.

Anyways, it was just a fun experience for us as high schoolers.  We used to wear loose fitting jeans and would sneak in food and drinks from Burger King.  We would literally put filled soda cups in our pockets and walk carefully in the theatre.  Surprisingly, we never had any accidents or spillage.

Queue Tips: Nonsense to Kill

I would have to say "Licence to Kill" is the best James Bond movie I have seen so far.  Even though the spelling of "licence" bugs me a bit.  Those British with their English.  Having said that, I am still not a Bond fan though.  

This film is more of a rogue cop movie type.  The only thing missing is the reluctant partner.  Even the title is a bit reminiscent of "Lethal Weapon".  

Anyways, this Bond definitely seems more real.  He screams for his life at one point and is really in a panic trying to talk the villain out of killing him.  The previous Bonds would have been way too cool under that kind of pressure.

Speaking of the previous Bonds, they were a bit too hasty in killing people.  You would expect a person with a license to kill to show restraint and proper training.  But they just killed without prejudice (except when the enemy is a beautiful woman, of course).  I mean, henchmen are people, too.  They probably have families.  They could have been forced or coerced into henchmanning for the villain.  And what about the innocent workers at some of these big villain headquarters, hideouts and lairs?  They're just tying to get paid.  

So yeah, I was glad they finally made a film where Bond's license is revoked.  But when they actually tell him, he fights them and they actually try to shoot him?  Like, you could have killed him.  Does it make sense to kill one of the best agents you have?  But good thing his fellow agents have the same accuracy as villain henchmen.

As for the theme, I used to be a roadie for a wedding band.  One of the songs they used to play frequently was "If You Asked Me To".  I never realized this was from a James Bond film.  But then again, I never really watched "Licence to Kill" before.  Or ever.

Queue Tips: Daylights of Our Lives

There's a band called The Deadlights.  I wonder if they've ever seen "The Living Daylights".  What does that saying mean anyway?  Let me use the googalizer.

One of the searches I found explained that "daylights" used to mean "eyes".  So the other James Bond films could have been named "For Your Daylights Only".  And "GoldenDaylights".  To knock the living daylights out of someone is to punch them so hard they become unconscious.  

So what happens if your little lamp is running out of battery?  It would be a dying nightlight.  Anyways, in this film, James Bond is living in the limelight, the universal dream for those who wish to see.  Oh, wait.  That's the Rush song.

This is a film where they have a new actor playing James Bond.  That is Timothy Dalton.  If you haven't seen him in other movies, you wouldn't recognize him.  He says his character name near the end of the opening action sequence.  I'm not sure how effective that is, or if they should have pointed it out clearly earlier.  He is also not wearing the tuxedo that we might usually associate with the character.

We do see him in the gun barrel sequence that starts the film.  But it's a wide shot, obviously.  And it's pretty short so if you were just walking in, or tending to your popcorn and soda, you might have missed it.  Interestingly, Dalton shoot with his left hand down, not away from the body for balance and not supporting the right hand on the gun.

It's still pretty silly.  Bond decides not to shoot an assassin because she is an attractive woman.  They have a boombox gadget called the "Ghettoblaster".  There are some pretty cool stunts as usual.  Dalton's portrayal of Bond was interesting, but it wasn't quite there yet and the plot didn't really support.  It was definitely less comical than Roger Moore in a clown suit trying to convince people a bomb is about to explode in 90 seconds.  I also liked the portrayal of the female lead and supporting women actors.  Not quite as mysoginistic as the previous films.

The theme song by A-Ha was good, but I have actually forgotten it already.  Somehow I have it stuck in my head to the tune of the reading rainbow.  "There's a bomb in the sky, it can blow twice as high."

Queue Tips: Review To A Kill

It only took me until a few years ago to realize that the opening shot of James Bond walking and pointing his gun towards the camera was actually from the point of view of an enemy's gun barrel.  I just used to think it was someone looking at him through a telescope.  I even realized that Bond was shooting the person watching him, but I somehow didn't put it together that the red thing coming down was blood.  And that the camera starts pointing down because the guy is dying.  The would be assassin went from a view to being killed.  

It's interesting how Sean Connery puts out the left hand for balance.  Roger Moore holds the gun with two hands to keep it steady.  I can't remember how George Lazenby did it. 

This is a film where one of the bad guys is betrayed by another of the bad guys.  Therefore she allies with Bond as soon as she finds out the betrayal.  And Bond could have just killed her at any moment, but she isn't worried about that at all.  In fact, she even sacrifices her life in the end.  (Spoiler alert!)  She could have jumped off and saved her life in the end, I think.  Once she got into daylight, I think it would have been safe for her to get away from the bomb.  It could have been her living daylight.

I really like the theme song to "A View To A Kill" by Duran Duran.  The syncopated beat of the bass drum with the tom accompanying the snare is really impactful.  It gets you in the move for action.

Queue Tips: Old Time High

If Octopussy had gotten into medicine, she could have been Doctopussy.  What would her area of expertise be?  Yes, gynecology.  She can specialize in transexual procedures.  Cocktopussy.

Sorry.

Are there any fans out there who can actually keep track of the plots of the James Bond films?  I certainly can't, and I have been watching them recently.  I have my video player set on loop actually, and when I get busy at work, the same film can be playing over and over all day.

Anyway, who does the character General Orlov remind me of?  Do you know?  I'm thinking maybe James Woods in some other movie.  But I'm not sure which.  I'm thinking "The Hard Way".  Was that him?  I've cancelled the guy, so I don't really care to re-watch it to verify.

All I wanted was a sweet distraction for an hour or two, but I ended up watching the entire James Bond series so far.  Which one should I watch next?  Should I continue with the Eon series?  The next one would be "A View to a Kill", starring Roger Moore.  But then another company did another James Bond movie in 1983, which was "Never Say Never Again", starring Sean Connery.  Would watching that mess up the James Bond universe?  Will I be jumping around in time?

It's funny how as a child I hadn't noticed or cared how old Roger Moore already was.  And how not old most of his female costars were.  

Queue Tips: Eye Spy

One other thing about re-watching these James Bond films is that I really do enjoy watching the special effects.  They are more effective to me than CGI.  (Get it?  Effective.)  The stunts and explosions are quite fun to see and imagine how they were created, although the obvious use of dummies can be laughable.

One of the cool things I remember from "For Your Eyes Only" is the underwater suits, and how they can talk.  I find it funny that James Bond tells diving partner to talk only when she needs to in order to conserve oxygen, when he should have said that before they had put their suits on.  I never thought of that as a child.

This is the film where James Bond ends up alone in an ice rink with three hockey players, two skaters and a goalie.  They lights go out, and they body check Bond.  It turns out they are hockey assassins!  They don't just whack him with their sticks right away.  They skate around him first.  And I like that Bond is able to keep his balance while fighting them.  Someone just left the ice resurfacer on the ice, and Bond is able to climb on it and drive it.  I haven't been on one of these, but I would figure one would need a key, right?  The hockey players definitely look like they belong on beer league, with the varying color jerseys they are wearing.

Then Bond comes outside and finds one of his allies dead.  Imagine that.  Assassinating someone outside of an ice rink.  It seemed to have been effective with this guy, but apparently they needed to get on ice to get Bond.  For your ice only, I guess.

2/22

Queue Tips: Goon Acher

Moon raker, wider than a mile.  Moon raker and me.  What is a moon raker anyway?  There are no leaves in the lunar surface, are there?  Or, is it supposed to rake the entire moon itself?  

The bad guys have had so many chances to kill James Bond earlier in the movie.  Yet, later on, there is a scene where Bond is on a gondola, and an assassin kills the gondola driver.  (Spoiler alert!)  Instead of going after Bond, right away, he goes for the driver first.  I mean, the guy is just doing his job and he ends up with a knife in his chest in the middle of a canal.  They had Bond strapped to a machine before, so why not just stab him then?  Instead, they attempt an assassination in broad daylight and take an innocent life in the process.

But wait.  It turns out the gondola has secret gadgets on it.  And it later drives onto the Italian roads.  So maybe the driver really was in on it?  We will never know.

There is a scene where they input a code on a door lock and it creates a tune.  The sound reminds me of the whistling from "Gremlins".  I wonder if there is a connection with the filmmakers.  I'm too lazy to googalize it.

If the moon landing was a hoax, it would be a moon faker.  If someone is planning to show you their butt cheeks, they would moon later.  And by the way, writer and director Tom Kalin is the "Swoon" maker.  A reviewer for Denis Villenueve's film is a "Dune" rater.  "Space Jam: A New Legacy" had a toon Laker.  If you were a very good film editor, you would be a Schoonmaker.  An iPod fanatic can be a Zune hater.  You can argue that a crack addict is a spoon baker.  And of course, James Bond beating up henchmen is a goon acher.

Moonraker?  I just met her!

Queue Tips: More Betterness

The band Me First & the Gimme Gimmes has a cover of the song "Nobody Does It Better".  I first heard it around the early 2000s.  I had heard the original version before but I couldn't exactly remember which James Bond film it was featured in.  I kinda thought the lyrics were specifically about the movie.

"The Spy Who Loved Me" is actually about a female spy whose husband was killed by Bond.  She ends up being involved with him.  And when she finds out that he was the one responsible, decides that she wants to kill him after the mission.  Oh yeah, spoiler alert.

Of course, it's a Bond movie so the characters are one-dimensional.  But it would have been an interesting role if the filmmakers and the actor actually decided to explore it.  The themes of the song show how torn she is, but I just don't see it in the movie's character.

The female character holds the position of major.  There is a scene where Bond introduces her to someone, and he is surprised to find that the major is a woman.  Crazy, right?  And then immediately invites her to take a shower.  And she accepts the offer.  And leaves the door open so anyone can see.  And that person just hangs around without giving her privacy.  And he even allows another man to come in and catch a glimpse of her.  Funny, right?

One cool gadget is the car that turns into a submarine thingy.  I admit I would like to drive that if it was actually real and available.  How do you actually get breathable oxygen in it it though?  You might get carbon monoxide poisoning and get disoriented under water.  You'll end up going too deep and the water pressure will crush you.

I was once told that just because you are good at something doesn't mean you have to do it forever.  Just because you have big powerful jaws, like the character Jaws, you should always use it and not have a gun or some other kind of weapon.  Imagine if "Nobody Does It Better" is actually about Jaws?  Is he technically spy though?

Also, the film begins with Bond and a different female, who is working with the bad guys.  What was she planning to do?  Kill him before, during, or after sex?  He leaves abruptly, and she tells the other bad guys, who wait for Bond to come.  Why didn't she just shoot him in the back as he was leaving?  He ends up getting away, of course.  She needed to do better.  As far as I can tell, she didn't meet any comeuppance.  Apart from having to sleep with an old lech.

One new thing I noticed was the use of sound effects.  It's pretty obvious now, but it definitely adds to the experience.  The sound and foley artists are really on top of their game in these films.  As far as music, disco is something that I would not have associated with Bond films, so it's interesting experiencing this movie with this type of underscore.

Queue Tips: Golden Boy

What is so special with the man with the golden gun?  Isn't it just a gun made of gold?  Wouldn't it just work the same as a regular gun?  Don't 3D printed guns work the same?  Aren't those made of plastic?  I guess you have to watch the movie to find out.  It is called "The Man with the Golden Gun".

What would Goldfinger do if he had run into the man with the golden gun?  Would he have killed him for it?  Would they have been friends?  Would they reunite in "GoldenEye"?

Anyways, I'm off to write my prequel to "The Man with the Golden Gun".  Back when he was a young lad.  He was known as Golden Boy.

Queue Tips: Relive and Let Die

How did Paul McCartney know that when I was young I used to say, "Live and let and live"?  And that in this ever-changing world in which we live in, I say, "Live and let die"?  He must have been spying on me.

I have been re-watching James Bond films recently to kind of re-live the experience of seeing them when I was a kid.

There's a bunch of cringey moments in this movie.  One of them is a black taxi driver joking that if given enough money, he would drive his white passenger to a Ku Klux Klan meeting.  Later on, there is a white sheriff continuously referring to a black suspect, a grown man who is bigger than him, as "Boy".

Is it called "Live and Let Die" because instead of actually killing Bond, the bad guy just tries to let him die?  The more and more I watch these films, the more I wonder what makes one a fan of James Bond, the movie series and the character itself.  I don't hate them.  I can see how they can be mindless fun.  I just don't see how a person could actually be into it.  As I said before, it's basically a live action cartoon.  With sex and nudity.  Oh, now I get it.

Queue Tips: Double Trouble

Sometimes I think "Diamonds Are Forever" is "Moonraker" because there is a scene of astronauts who look like they are on the moon.  Raking.  

Spoiler alert.  In this film, James Bond kills the bad guy, Blofeld.  But wait!  It wasn't Blofeld.  It was a double.  Later on we find out there's another double.  How do the henchmen know which one is their real boss?  What stops the double from killing the real dude and taking over?  Also, how does the second double know as well?

Later on a couple of bad guys take an unconscious James Bond and leave him inside a giant tube to be buried underground.  The guy is out of it.  They could have choked him, smothered him, stabbed him, shot him.  But they didn't.

One scene that I remembered from when I first saw it a long time ago is when Bond goes to Willard Whyte's house.  There was just something about how Bond casually walks in to this nice big place in the middle of the day alone.  The framing of him in a wide shot really sticks to me.  I didn't remember the specific shots nor its elements, but the idea of him alone in a big space in natural light has stayed in my memory.  The interior location has big windows for sunlight to come in, and there is a wide opening to the pool in the back, overlooking a terrific view of the bright valley.  I just liked the feeling it gave me when I saw it.  

I also remember Bond being assaulted by the two athletic women bodyguards.  It's interesting how I never noted at the time that one was white and one was black.  Watching it now, I also notice how long the takes are, compared to action movies of the present.  There is a medium shot of one of them looking towards the camera, preparing to strike.  And then she does.  And Bond goes down.  You don't really see moments like those anymore in action films, not that I have watched much of the recent ones.  

They continue assaulting Bond, and they end up in the pool, pushing his head underneath the water.  Somehow, after all the blows he's taken, Bond is able to overpower them from under the water, put each hand right on their head, and summon the strength to come up and push them underneath without losing grip after a long moment without breathing air and do so without the two being able to overpower him together just as he had done to both of them alone.

Anyways.  Diamonds are forever, but nothing gold can stay.

Queue Tips: Secrete and Service

"On Her Majesty's Secret Service" was another film I didn't really watch as a child.  I remember renting the tape from the video store, and then coming home to find out it wasn't Sean Conner or Roger Moore.  And then I was like, meh.  Watching it now, George Lazenby kind of looks like the love child of Woody and Buzz Lightyear.

In this film, James Bond is stuck at an institute with a bunch of beautiful women.  They all fawn over him, and he even sleeps with a couple of them.  It's like a Woody Allen film.  If the producers only knew, they should have hired him to direct this.  I haven't seen an Allen film in over a decade, but I think it might be interesting to review his work in 1969.  How do you think this film would have turned out if he had written and directed it?

Queue Tips: Turning Japanese

For a long while, I only saw "You Only Live Twice" once.  And I didn't even finish it.  We were at my aunt's house in Manila at the time.  I think we had to go somewhere or go to sleep or something.  It was kinda depressing because (spoiler alert) James Bond dies at the beginning.  Or maybe we didn't go anywhere but I stopped watching.  

The film is set in Japan.  There is a white guy in the beginning appropriating the culture.  And then later on, James Bond becomes Japanese.  

It's possible I probably came back to the movie and then realized that Bond was still alive.  I probably didn't care already by then.  I may have been playing with my cousin, too.

Anyways, the bad guy had Bond inside his building, and instead of keeping him there to kill him, he waits until he is outside and his henchmen try to kill him in broad daylight.  Right in front of their own building.  And then later on, they leave inside a plane with no pilot so that it would crash with him in it.  I mean, why waste a perfectly good plane?

Later on, they actually turn James Bond into a Japanese.  Real cringeworthy.

I remember the big volcano crater opening thing.  It's always amazing how we're expected to believe these huge structures were built in secret.  And with all the personnel inside, no one still finds out.  It even comes as a surprise to the spy agency.

Queue Tips: Have a Ball

So near the beginning of "Thunderball", James Bond is strapped onto a contraption by some kind of a health worker.  And then she just leaves him.  Where did she go?  To the bathroom?  Isn't she at work?  The guy almost dies because somebody messes with the settings.  Of course, he could have just shot or stabbed or choked him.

Did the audiences realize how camera tricks were done?  Did they recognize when the film was sped up?  Did they notice when a scene had rear screen projection?  Did they know when they were matted out?  I think they definitely knew when actions were done by stunt men.  It's pretty obvious when it's shot wide and you can't see the characters' faces.

Anyways, the underwater scenes were cool.  I definitely remember watching them as a child.  My friends and I would sometimes pretend we were fighting underwater.

Queue Tips: Long Gold Fing-Longer

Spoiler alert: in the beginning of "Goldfinger", James Bond is alone in a hotel room with a girl when he gets knocked out and later wakes up to find the girl dead.  So yeah.  Instead of killing him, too, they just left him there to discover the crime.

There's a scene where a plane flies over a bunch of soldiers spraying some kind of gas, and everybody falls asleep in a perfectly choreographed manner.  I could totally buy into it as a kid.  But I can't believe audiences would suspend their disbelief for this.  And that the producers expected them to.

Anyways, the soundtrack and score are pretty cool.  The horns in the music sound glorious.  Shirley Bassey's voice in the beginning is powerful.  I found it amusing watching a sophisticated gentleman continuously saying "Pussy" with a straight face.

If Goldfinger had a Fing-Longer, he would have a long gold fing-longer, I think.  Incidentally, it autocorrects as ding-longer, which I am not gonna take you there.  Also, incidentally, "Futurama" is coming back apparently.

Queue Tips: Why You Russian?

Spoiler alert: "From Russia With Love" begins with James Bond being killed quickly and efficiently.  But wait!  It's fake news.  It's not actually James Bond.  When it's the real James Bond, they device an elaborate scheme and give him a chance to escape.

Again, when I was a child, it was fun to watch because of the action scenes.  I think I also fed off the excitement of the adults who looked forward to Bond films.  I never really understood the plot.  It is interesting to watch it now as a study of film history.  However, it is not something I can view seriously.  I just keep asking, "Why don't they just kill each other?"  Get it over with.  Stop playing stupid games and just end it.

Anyways, what's the fastest country in the world?

Queue Tips: No Means No

So this is the first installment of the James Bond films.  Spoiler alert: it starts with a guy being shot in broad daylight and then his body taken away.  Quick and easy.  So then, later on when the bad guys decide to try to kill Bond, they decide to put drop a tarantula on him while he is sleeping.  Really?  A spider?  Who kills with a spider, honestly?  Like, what is this, a trained tarantula?  How did they know it actually intended to bite him?  What if he wasn't in the mood?

I did appreciate it for what it was.  Old school film making.  Rear screen projection.  Day for night scenes.  Practical effects.  Misogyny.  Stereotypes.

You can see the appeal, of course.

If Dr. No had been Japanese, his name would have meant Dr. Of.  Doctor of what?  LOL.  But he was Chinese.  Played by a white guy.  I used Google translate, and apparently in Chineses, No means No.  But not to James Bond.  The irony.  

My dad was a big fan of these films.  I think he fancied himself to be like James Bond.  After my mom moved to the United States, their underlying marital problems was exacerbated.  He accused her of being unfaithful.  In one of their arguments, he stated that he knew what it was like in America because he's seen it in the movies.

Anyway, the "T-minus 10 seconds and counting" countdown thing was definitely a familiar thing that I recalled seeing as a child.  My cousins and I would typically repeat it during our games that we would play.  I feel like that has been in other Bond movies.  If not, I guess I must have seen Dr. No as a child then.

I don't think we knew the order the movies came out.  Sometimes we didn't know which actor we would be seeing.  At least, us kids didn't.  We didn't care either way though.  We didn't know what was going on most of the time.  We just knew there was the hero and the bad guys.  And the action sequences were pretty cool.

As an adult, I still think the stunts are pretty impressive.  The fight scenes are not.  (One punch usually knocks out a henchman.  At one point, they hold down James Bond to beat him up, and the guy chops him in the neck.)  The plot and the devices are a bit silly.  It really is just a live action cartoon, if you think about it.  I think that's probably not the first time that's been said.  I guess it's not the last either.

I didn't catch whether Dr. No was a doctor of medicine, or dentistry, or if he earned a PhD and where.  I do like the 1960s sci-fi look though.  And film stock and film grain is just glorious.  No matter what you think of the plot, it must have been an amazing experience at the theatre.

Bonding

At some point in the late 1990s or early 2000s, ABC decided to air James Bond movies every week.  The first one, of course, was "Dr. No".  I didn't recall having seen it before, so I decided to tune in.  I wasn't a big Bond fan or anything, but it seemed to go too slow for me.  I think during the first commercial break, I ended up changing the channel and never did finish the movie.

I'm not sure why I had never seen this movie before, because I have a bunch of memories with Bond films growing up.  Our family got a betamax player in the late 1980s, and we rented Bond movies and watched them together.  I remember friends and family gathered together, and pronouncing Sean Connery as "Seen Connery" when reading the opening credits.

Before my mom left for the United States in 1989, we would stay up late and watch Bond films.  I tried to, anyway, but I never could stay up for the whole.  I remember falling asleep on her lap soon after the action scenes in the beginning.  There were a few nights when this happened.  I recall the feeling that my mom looked forward not only to the movie, but to me being next to her and falling asleep.  Maybe one of those films was "Dr. No".

I think I would ask her what happened the following day.  It was probably too much to explain.  And then I would stay up again the next night.  I don't know.  Maybe it was only two nights altogether, but I recall the feeling that it was a regular thing for at least a week.  I think I was probably clingy knowing that she would be going away.

Kind of like real life, I never really understood what was going on.  I was just trying to observe the action and trying my best to stay up for all of it.  Sometimes you just have to let go and get your rest.

Queue Tips: White Noise

I can't remember what I finished watching, but the next recommended thing that popped up was  "Ozark". I was in the middle of something so I absent-mindedly clicked it.  It picked up where I left off.  I had actually tried to watch it months ago while not busy.  

When I was actually focused on watching the show, I didn't really care much for it.  I didn't really care for the characters or their problems.  However, it actually turned out to be bearable as background noise while working at home.  

You don't even have to watch it to actually understand what is going on.  The characters spell out everything for you.  Over and over again.  Dialogue tells you exactly that they are laundering money for a Mexican cartel, for example.  No slang, no lingo, no code, no subtlety.  If you miss an important plot detail, you don't have to worry because they will recap it for you.  Over and over.

It seems to have been written by a 12 year old "Breaking Bad" fan, who really liked it and was allowed to make their own show.  A guy just trying to take care of his family gets caught up in a big crime thing and stuff.  Apparently, this guy is so highly skilled at what he is doing that this big criminal organization will go out of their way to make him work for them, even killing their long trusted members. Kind of like "Breaking Bad".  Just when you think they are about to die, they manage to talk their way out of it.  And big plot twists where they kill their own people instead of this random guy, you know, because he is so highly skilled. 

It seems to have lasted a few seasons, so I think there are people who like it.  Click "Watch" if you want.  But you don't have to actually watch it.

Queue Tips: Uncut Gems

Unwatchable crap.  Half an hour in, and I had to stop it.  I don't get it.  I don't want to get it.  I don't have time to try and get it.  There are a lot better things to do with my time.