Spring Clinic and Summer Hockey Camp

Anyway, where was I?  I lost my train of thought here.

The season was done at the end of March.  That spring of 2018, Hockey In New Jersey decided to field teams for spring hockey.  They had U12 and U10 groups.  None of the kids in our group were selected for these either, even though kids are able to play up.

I asked the hockey director about it, just in case there was a chance they could still take Rusty.  He said they actually considered putting him in the team and that he was the first of the ones they cut.  I forget exactly how he phrased it, but basically, he was supposedly the best of the rest.  I wasn't sure whether to believe that, but it was nice to hear.  

He said they could have made room for him, but he wouldn't really get a lot of playing time anyway and that he would let me know if things change.  I also asked if Rusty could at least practice with them, and he didn't give me a straight answer.  I never did hear back about it the rest of that spring.

So I decided to look around online for options.  I found some hockey camps, but they were pretty far from our area.  And then I saw that the team in the next town, the Wranglers (fake name but you can probably tell which team this is), were holding free pre-tryout clinics.  I wasn't sure how to assess Rusty's skills at that time, and I couldn't understand how it could be really free, so I decided not to take him there.  In retrospect, I think he would have had a good chance to make a team at that point, even if a low level one.

Once those sessions were done, I checked again and saw that there was a spring clinic, from March to June, and it was only twenty-five dollars.  So I signed him.  I also told Bert's and Ernie's dads about it.  I think I told Turtle's dad about it, too, but I think they were too busy as he had made the spring hockey team.

It was good.  The three mosquitoes got to spend more time together.  Some of coaches' kids would show up sometimes.  It was good for them to be around kids who had already done travel hockey, and it made them more competitive.  The trio were better than some of the clinic kids, so that gave them confidences in their skills, and the travel kids were better than them, so that motivated them to get better.  It was a good mix.

The friends got better at the sport and had a lot of fun together.  It was a gradual development.  Nothing really popped skills wise.  But they were different players from the start to the end of the clinic.

One thing I noticed, though, was that Rusty was not able to do cross-overs.  I can't remember if Ernie could, but Bert was pretty good with it already.  Coach Etan called them bagels.  He would say to the kids, "I want full bagels!  Give me full bagels!"

We did other sports that spring.  I signed up Rusty for swim class.  (That's another story for another day.)  We went back to tennis, as usual.  We started playing baseball, just on our own.  As I was working for the baseball and hockey network at the time, I figured we should be involved in both sports.  I moved to a different department, and it was actually my new boss who gave us used adult and youth gloves, batting gloves, cleats, bats and a gear bag.  That was nice of him.  We also had Carnival Day at work, and that was a ton of fun.  

And at some point, we went to Turtle Back Zoo in West Orange.  We had been coming here for years, but it was only this year that I noticed there was an indoor ice rink there.  It was right at the entrance, and it never caught my attention before.  So I checked for public skates times, and we went back there.  Rusty improved a lot at this time, again just with me studying YouTube videos and telling him how to do it without myself being able to demonstrate.  We worked on power skating, hockey stops and crossovers.

Among other things, we worked on flipping forward to back, back to forward, C cuts and backwards skating.  One time while skating backward, Rusty bumped into a girl about his age, and she fell.  I got mad at him for not checking where he was going, and he got upset at himself.  He kept skating while the girl was down, and I chased after him to give him a talking to.  The girl was all right, and she got up right away.

While I was talking to Rusty at the other end of the rink, a door by us opened, and there was the girl's mom.  She yelled at us about how he knocked her down, and we just skated away without apologizing.  I tried to explain that Rusty was upset at himself for what happened and hadn't composed himself yet, but she was - understandably - too enraged to see our point of view.  I got Rusty to go over there and apologize, and he mumbled, "Sorry" to the girl.

We went back there once or twice.  I also found public skate times for Floyd Hall and Union Sports Arena.  I kept a list of indoor rinks' public skate times and took it with me whenever we went out.  Sometimes when we are done doing something, I would check my pocket schedule and see that this rink is only a few minutes away and there's a session starting soon.  One time we hiked a trail in Montclair before going to Floyd Hall.  So that was how our spring and summer went.

In the summer, there was Hockey In New Jersey camp at Prudential Center.  We actually planned our vacation around this and went to Cape May the week before.  I took a combination of days off and night shifts at work in order to be there during the day.  When we arrived early, we were able to catch some of the Devils practicing.  This year we mostly saw Keith Kinkaid and Pavel Zacha there.  That was fun.  And of course, it was great seeing the familiar faces of the kids, parents and coaches from the program.

One morning, Ken Daneyko showed up to help with the clinic.  I was excited for Rusty.  He has seen the highlights of his hits, and he really enjoyed his ESPN commercials as the office enforcer.  He didn't notice Kenny skating around with them, as Rusty was playing a game at their station.  I can't remember the name of it, but they were going under each other's legs.  Well, Rusty went under this kid Ty, who was not a very good skater yet, and Ty lost his balance and fell right on Rusty's head.  He was basically sitting on it.

It was then we heard this loud scream echoing all around the rink.

A coach helped him up, and Rusty sat in the penalty box.  I walked around and checked on him.  I tried to point out that Mr. Devil was there skating with him.  He didn't care.  I let him rest there, and eventually he came back on.  Near the end of the session, the kids were asked to pose for a group picture.  Ken Daneyko went up to Rusty and asked if he was all right.  And then the New Jersey Devils legend put his arm around my kid for the picture.

Here is a picture of Kenny talking to Rusty:

And posing with him:

It was only days or weeks later on that I would learn that Kenny actually recognized me from work.  I would sometimes wave or nod to him, but we never had a conversation.  I sat next to the Production Manager's desk, where staff and talent would sometimes gather so I must have been a familiar face.  I never know what to say anyway, so I mostly kept quiet, although I would actively listen in on the conversation sometimes, and they would make eye contact and not be bothered by it.  Sometimes they would try to engage me, but overall, I just kept to myself instead of risking saying or doing something embarrassing.

Anyways, way after hockey camp was done, Rusty just casually mentioned that Kenny asked, "Does your dad work at the baseball network?"  And Rusty said yes.  After the group picture, as the kids were lining up to get off the ice, Ken Daneyko called Rusty over again.  Then he waved to me.  He said, "Take a picture!"  So I did.  Here it is: 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by David Vill (@dvidvill)

Anyways, that was pretty cool.  Even though he doesn't know my name, I never imagined Mr. Devil himself would recognize me.

Mites On Ice

At the start of the 2017 season, Rusty was a second year mite.  Although we didn't really know what his age group was at the time because we were really just doing the clinics at Hockey In New Jersey.  We knew he was U8 and the next level was U10, but we had no idea about mites and squirts and pee wees and bantams.  Whenever I did look them up, I quickly forgot about the terms.

We did other sports after hockey camp ended mid-August.  After that we basically just waited for an email about when to come back to the rink.  I think the first day was October 30, but we were already in hockey mode and had already gone to at least one Devils game that season.

My wife was taking Masters classes that year, so every time there was a hockey session for Rusty, my two year old Dusty would come along, too.  I taught him to yell, "Skate!" at the kids.  He would pick up stray pucks on the side and keep them.  And of course, we would have to stay after so he can watch the Zamboni resurface.

We still went to Secaucus to keep working on skating.  I hadn't done any actual drills with Rusty yet.  I just went around skating with him.  But he was just getting comfortable on his own, skating on one foot, lining up his skates, jumping over the lines, dragging a foot to stop.  I did make him wear his gear though because I figured it would be best to get him used to it.  Sometimes I would let him go without his bucket.  However, we went to a session with Bert one time, and his dad had him in full gear, including helmet, and from then on, I had rusty wear everything.

We generally had two sessions a week.  One was just the U8s on Saturday and another sharing ice with the U10s on a weeknight.  I'm a little mixed up now which weeknight it was, but the previous year it was Wednesday, and we would sneak in with the older group on Monday.  I do have a picture of Rusty and Bert on a Tuesday, but it's possible I just posted it a day late.

Anywhoo.

At the start of that season, there was this one kid everyone noticed right away.  He was wearing a jersey with Russian characters in the back.  And he was super fast - at least compared to the rest of the group.  it was a boy named Serenity, and he was only a few months older than Rusty and Bert.  He was placed in the U10s and was also a better player than most of the kids there.  We were impressed, of course.  But I kind of thought it was silly to watch him dominate the drills, taking and controlling the puck every time with the other kids just watching.  I liked it better when they had small groups and Rusty was not with him.

An email was sent out that there would be a House League and how the kids would be grouped.  I looked forward to it because those kids were given uniform jerseys, one color for each team - white, red, black and green.  Most of the program's equipment were donated so the kids all were a motley crew of different colors.  Rusty's jersey the previous year was a reversible white/navy Avalanche, and this year he had decided to go with his free LTP Jamboree white Devils #9 jersey.  Once in a while, a kid on ice will ask him, "Do you like Taylor Hall?"

Well, the email was sent out, and Rusty wasn't chosen for a team.  Neither was Bert.  They were too young.  The U8s were not included.  I was disappointed.  I looked at how excited the older kids were to receive their jerseys.  And I was really looking forward to more of the team experience.

Rusty kind of just shrugged it off.  He just liked being out there on the ice and trying.  One time he was sick but still wanted to go.  He vomited a little in the locker room, and then he said he was okay.  He seemed fine during the session.  Actually now I remember there was another session right after, and sometimes they would let the U8s stay on for extra ice time if they wanted.  Anyway, Rusty was good during their session.  For the next one, he started getting sluggish.  I went onto the bench and asked him how he was doing.  He said he didn't feel good, and so I took him home.  When we got there, he vomited all over his room.  Anyway, what is my point here?  I think he liked hockey enough that he withheld his vomit during his session and only threw up before and after. 

The only other time Rusty didn't finish was one time when I saw him whack another kid with his stick.  I had been talking to him about his little meltdowns, and especially after he screamed at a volunteer mom at hockey camp.  So when I saw him succumbing to his frustration, I called him over and said, "You're done!"  His coaches didn't think it was that big a deal, and yes, after all they are all wearing gear and no one got hurt.  But for me, it was part of a pattern and I didn't like it.  Also, there were really only five minutes left.  But Rusty didn't realize that.  All he knew was that everyone else was still on, and he was leaving early.  He didn't do it again after that.

In late December, Rusty, Bert, Ernie, Lino and some other kids were chosen to move up and join the U10s for the rest of the season.  They played some full ice scrimmages.  Although we were not too heavy into the sport yet, I did want Rusty to improve, so I would give him some advice.  Just common sense stuff, like, don't just whack the puck away when it comes to you.  Because it was hard enough for him to even get to touch the puck, but when he does, he would just hit it away at any direction.  So one of the things I wanted him to do was just hold on to it and even if they try to take it away, just to do his best to maintain possession.  It took a while, but one Saturday in December, he did take the puck from in front of his defensive net, skated it all the way to the other end, and scored a goal.  I was excited!  And I got it on video!!!  And then he never did it again for months after that.

And I took more and more videos.  I would show him at home what he did and what possible things he could have tried.  I would show him where there was space, where he could have gone.  I showed him what the better kids do.  It turned out to be good.  He understood, he could explain the situation and he asked questions if he had them.  But the actual results wouldn't show on ice for quite some time.

Now for some random stuff that I can remember.

The city offered free power skating clinics at 7am for the three days after Christmas.  We didn't go to the first one because the age group was for U10s.  But Bert's parents took him.  It turns out only a handful of kids came and they didn't check the ages anyway.  So we came on the second day.  It wasn't really much of a clinic.  It was just one coach I haven't seen before showing them some skating drills from one end of the ice to the other and then letting the kids try it.  Not much correction or critiquing even though there were only six of them at the most.  And for the second half of the hour, they just scrimmaged.

After the session, Bert asked if he could sleep over at our house.  When his mom said yes, Rusty was super excited because it was his first sleepover.  He didn't even have clothes to change into because they just decided to ask on a whim, and I think his mom was just tired from the holidays and was relieved to have a little quiet at home.  I don't think she even checked with the dad.  But that's how it would be for the years to come.  The two of them would just plan playdates and sleepovers and basically just tell the parents about it.  They also figured out how to ask in a way that made it seem to one's parent that the other's parent already knew and said yes.

When they got to our house, they kept punching each other in the "goods".  My wife and I told them to stop.  They explained that it was okay because they do it all the time in school.  As though that makes it all right.  Of course, they didn't sleep much, and the showed up to the clinic the next morning super tired.  Bert's mom thought maybe they had a fight or something because they weren't speaking much.  But they were just tired.

The following clinic after that - I think this was a Wednesday night (too lazy to look it up) - was the first U10 moved up session or whatever you want to call it.  Some of the slower U8 skaters were no longer there, and there were some new faces of the older kids.  

One of them was this really nice boy, Jim, who took to Rusty right away the previous year.  Jim held him when Rusty was learning to skate, and told him how to hockey stop (not that Rusty got it).  He had an older sister in the program.  She was in the U18 group, and I kind of felt bad that there were not a lot of signups for that age.  I think most teens think it's too late for them to learn the sport, if they even hear about a free program that will teach it and provide free gear.  So most of the time, Jim's sister would join this age group and learn while helping.

Another was Jim's classmate Patrik.  I remember one time asking everyone who their favorite player was, and he said Patrik Elias, and I said, "Why?  Because you have the same name?"  I think that was the year Elias' number was retired (too lazy to look it up).  

Then there was this other boy in the corner, super quiet, always smiling and happy.  Turtle.  His dad was always with him helping him with his gear, and the following year he was doing it all by himself, including tying his skates and putting his helmet on.  He didn't demand attention when we were in the locker room, as he was not as loud as the other kids.  But on ice, you couldn't miss him because he would always flash open.  When a teammate has the puck, Turtle was always the best option for a pass, not that the other kids had enough hockey sense to notice.  Turtle would also always crash the net and made his living feeding off leftovers.  Also, a few times, his mom made him wear a scarf because it was cold.  Coach told him to take it off, but he said, "My mom told me to wear it!"  He never did take it off.

And then, of course, there was Serenity.  Rusty was not a great skater and not a goal scorer.  But he hated being scored on.  And something about Serenity's confidence lit a fire in him.  Whatever he lacked at skill, Rusty's determination made up for it.  And he was determined not to let Serenity score.  I think i wrote about this before, but they were playing half ice and Rusty was frustrating Serenity a lot.  He was everywhere Serenity wanted to go, and passing was not a thing Serenity was accustomed to.  And Rusty didn't care to try and score.  He just whacked the puck away and stayed there playing defense.  Eventually though, the puck did go in and when it did, Rusty knelt down to pick it up.  Serenity took this opportunity to tap him on the helmet and say something.  That was when Rusty erupted.  I can't remember what he said, but the entire rink heard him.  He screamed right at Serenity's face, making him cry and leave the ice.  He cried for a long time in the locker room.  

His dad came up to me later and, well, it wasn't so much an apology.  Maybe it was but there was a bit of a Russian language barrier.  In any case, he said something and I said something and we were okay.  But we haven't talked to each other at all since then.

In the following sessions, Rusty and Serenity apologized to each other.  That's what Rusty says anyway.  I can't hear them on the ice.  But they do kind of get along now, and I don't feel any animosity between them at all.

But I talked to Rusty after that night, and we ended up agreeing that if he wanted to get better I would help him.  I never played hockey before but I would do my best.  And he would need to commit and do his best.  So I looked up YouTube videos for some help.

And we selected Serenity as a target for comparison.  We aimed for Rusty to be as fast as him or better.  Or if not, to at least close the gap.

Rusty was afraid to skate too fast because he couldn't stop and would crash into the board.  So I decided we should first work on hockey stops.  Ice time at Secaucus was limited, but Newport Skates was open to the public everyday.  It cost more, and you had to pay for parking, but you could pretty much skate for as long as you want.  So I took him down there.  And every hour or so, I would have to move the car because the meter wouldn't change if you didn't.  But the staff was kind enough to understand and let me get my shoes back to move the car and get the skates again at no extra charge.  So yeah, Newport Skates.  That was where Rusty learned to hockey stop.  Thanks to his dad who can't hockey stop.  I just explained the best I could, illustrating with hand movements and very slow demonstrations by me.  Very slow.  He also worked on backward skating and flips down there.  I said, "Why you flippin'?  Cos you Filipino?"

Whenever Secaucus was open though, we would to to public skate there.  It was just easier having a parking lot, and the low price of admission and rental didn't hurt.  One time I noticed they were open on MLK day, so we went there and it was just me and him for most of the session.  And then later on just a couple other people.  It was great.  It was not like that this year, with everything else closed and the townspeople having nothing else to do.

One of the staff members there noticed that we were working on hockey skills, and he said it was all right as long as we watched out for the other skaters.  Later he gave us the number of this teen who was looking to make extra cash with lessons.  So I contacted him.  It was just during a public skate session.  I didn't go on ice because I wanted to be hands off and just watch.  But then I realized, you know what, I could do exactly what this kid is doing.  So again, I looked up some YouTube videos and just ran Rusty through some drills on our own.  And he did improve.  And yes, I am very proud of being able to do that.

Around this time, Bert started going to public skate in Jersey City instead.  I'm not too fond of the ice there, and the staff is not as attentive to rowdy skaters, so didn't really go there a lot.  Once in a while we would go just to join Bert.  But when we would go, I was already resolved that I wouldn't get much out of Rusty as far as drills.  I have tried many times to get Bert to join, but it's hard to get him to pay attention.  When they are together, I just let them have their fun.

Anyways, at one point in the season the hockey director emailed me one day and asked if I could get to Prudential Center that night.  There was a Mites On Ice event during the intermission, and Rusty was selected to go on.  Unfortunately, my work was not that flexible at the time so I couldn't get him on.  I asked if Bert was selected also because then I'm sure Rusty could get a ride.  The answer was no.  I should have at least asked who else was going because I'm sure somebody would have taken him, but I didn't want to put more things on the hockey director's plate.  I was also kind of thinking there would be more opportunities for Mites On Ice.  Being still kinda new to hockey, I didn't realize he would no longer be a mite after the season.  And I didn't fully realize yet my value in the workplace that I was afraid to call out at the last second.  Now I do regret missing it because it would have been great fun for Rusty.  Of course, Hockey In New Jersey provided plenty of terrific experiences for years to come, but you are only a mite for a couple of years in your life.  What mite have been, I guess.  O-welles.

Mighty Mites

Rusty joined Hockey in New Jersey in October 2016.  Back then we were living at an apartment in a different part of town, on the other side of the highway.  In the mornings, we would wait for the school bus next to an empty parking lot. 

It was nice to have that space there.  There was a group of about ten kids there, and they would play together.  I remember football and tag and diggy diggy diamond (whatever that is).  I got to know the parents, and we would chat.  We exchanged numbers, so if the bus came early, we would call whoever wasn't there yet.  Or if a parent had to rush off, they would leave their child with another.

As I said before, we don't have family around, so it was nice to make that connection.  Nice to have people to depend on, especially since I had a different job back then, which wasn't as easygoing as the one I have now.  It wasn't often, but we helped out each other whenever we could.

One day, I saw a tweet about Hockey In New Jersey.  I saw a similar tweet the previous year, but I disregarded it, knowing that Rusty was not a great skater.  This time though, I read the details and saw "no experience necessary".  So then, I thought, all right, whatever, let's do it.

I told the other parents about it, and two of them signed up their two kids.  Two groups of two siblings.  (In the back of my mind, I was also thinking about being able to carpool sometimes since we just lived a couple of blocks from each other.)  I also told some of Rusty's schoolmates, including his best friend Bert, and they told Ernie.

Two of the neighbor siblings were older and had different ice times so we didn't see them.  The other two, Woody and Gordy, were in Rusty's age group.  The other kids at the bus stop were either not interested, or their parents were too busy, which was too bad.  I kind of wanted to volunteer my services and take the kids to practice, but at the same time, I didn't want to let them down if I wasn't able to be there.  One of them, Davis, was actually Rusty's classmate but I think he was more into basketball at the time.

We went to equipment pickup one day after school in October.  It was a bit messy and disorderly.  I realize now that this is a nonprofit that relies on volunteers, and they were doing their best.  But at the time, I remember being a little frustrated, although I stayed calm the entire time.  Rusty and I went into the locker room, where the gear was laid out for the kids to try.  That was when we first smelled that hockey smell.  Oh, boy.  The force was strong with that one.

They didn't have enough hockey bags, so some of the kids took their gear home in big black garbage bags.  When we did get home, Rusty put his gear on, and we took pictures.  At night, he lay in his bed wearing his equipment.  He was joking that he would sleep in them, and I think he actually would have if we had let him.

The next Saturday was his first session on ice.  I took the hockey director's advice and arrived an hour early to put gear on.  That was when we saw Ernie and his dad walk in, after thinking that they wouldn't do it because his mom said they were already busy with hockey.  We got ready and had plenty of time before their session began.  

Tennis was our main sport, and this was just something to do in the winter so we weren't worrying too much about it.  Some of the kids were stressing out about it though, and this was mainly due to their parents.  Lots of last minute advice and tips and figuring out how to put the gear on.  Once they got on ice, it was natural to be curious and take pictures, but then there were still a lot of coaching from the stands, from people who probably never played hockey before either.  

The hockey director told us to just relax and let the kids learn to play, but I guess that was pretty hard for most of the parents.  Woody and Gordy's mom, while a nice lady, was one of these.  One of the things that kind of bugged me was that with five minutes left in the session, she would pull the boys off ice so they could be first in the locker room.  Sometimes she would call on them while they were still engaged in a drill.

And yes, the locker rooms were packed.  I think we only had one for the entire clinic at first.  And there would be both parents and siblings in there with the hockey players.  At times I had to take Dusty with us, and he was still in his stroller at the time, at just one year old.  Eventually, I had Rusty change out of his gear on one of the benches outside.  And then later on, we would only take off the skates and helmet as we would then rush off to Secaucus public skate with Ernie.  

I actually remember now, one of their other schoolmates, Kevin, and his little brother, would come with us to those sessions after.  I hardly knew them, but Ernie's dad told them about it as their dad used to play hockey.  We hardly interacted at public skate either, and they mostly kept to themselves.  That summer the parents parents signed them up for clinics at the ice house, and they came back the next year as much better players.  They could hardly stand on ice previously, but now they were doing hockey stops and skating fast, which Rusty still was not able to do.  

That year also, at second grade, Kevin and Rusty were both in the Spelling Bee finals, which Rusty won.  Later on, Kevin would stop coming to Hockey In New Jersey and play goalie for another team.  When Rusty's team faced them last year, I reminded him who the goalie was, and Rusty couldn't remember him at all.  I remember seeing them walk into the old rink, and the dad looking all serious like they were on a mission, and then Rusty getting a hat trick and our team beating them to take first place.  (Rusty actually had four goals, but the ref gave one of them to a teammate.)  And then we faced them in the first round of the playoffs and beat them again.

Anyways, where was I?  Back to that first year.  The carpool thing that I had hoped for with out neighbors never happened.  Not even once.  One time, Woody and Gordy's mom texted me that one of the boys (can't remember which) wasn't feeling well and that they weren't going that day.  I told her I could give the other one a ride, but she said nah they'll just stay home instead.  They missed one or two other sessions later on and never asked for any help with rides.  The following year, she decided not to sign them up again.  Last summer they gave us both kids' uniforms because they had gained weight and it didn't fit them anymore.  I hear they are always indoors playing video games.

One other thing that bugged me about their mom.  Around Thanksgiving, the Devils donated a bunch of tickets for the kids to watch a game for free.  (The Devils were not having a great season that year.)  Most families were given four, but I only took two for me and Rusty.  We looked for Woody and Gordy at the game but never saw them.  At the next clinic session, I asked the mom what happened, and she said she decided not to go and sold the tickets.  I think that would have been a great experience for the kids, especially with a bunch of their friends being there, but that's what she decided to do instead.

The two other neighbor kids, from the older group, Harry and Carey, were at the game.  His dad said they were doing well and were enjoying it.  A year or two later though, his job assigned him to Los Angeles.  He would travel back and forth.  The mom was not able to take them to hockey, so I told them I could do it, but I think they were too shy to accept.  I didn't really press on as they were in a different age group and had different ice times anyway, although the hockey director had been letting Rusty on at other sessions when we decided to come.  I've never seen them skate and they are no longer playing hockey.

Some of that stuff makes me sad.  Seeing how happy and excited Woody and Gordy were, and hearing Harry and Carey say how much they loved the sport.  Looking at how Rusty has improved over the years, it makes me feel bad about the wasted opportunity.

The good thing is, while some friends had decided to drop out of the sport, Rusty has gone on to make new friends.  Some of the kids from the program have moved on to other travel teams, and it's nice to see them sometimes.  Rusty and I have fun looking at the league rosters and recognizing names and looking forward to beating them.  And of course, he is now teammates with Bert and Ernie and finding success together.  They actually got to play in the same line for a couple of shifts last Saturday.

And I made some friends as well.  As you get older, people get busy with their own lives or move away or just drift into different directions.  I got to know some hockey moms and dads.  I got close with some of them, and even those I am that not close to, I bump into them at other rinks and clinics and say hello or chat.

With tennis, it was just Rusty and me most of the time.  I was still considering getting serious and finding a professional coach and putting him into competition.  The reason I hadn't done so yet was because of his meltdowns and frustrations and little dramas that I've been seeing on the court.  I was afraid putting him in real matches would make him hate the sport.  And then we get into hockey, and there's all these other kids there, and I realize, it's not just my kid.  All the meltdowns and frustrations and little dramas were normal.  Other kids go through it, too.  I had been worrying so much, like why is my kid so different?  And it turns out, every kid is like that at one point.  Everybody else seems normal because you don't see it because the parents pull them aside to deal with it.  So that was one lesson that hockey taught me.

But we were still not that into the sport yet.  After the clinic sessions ended in March, Rusty and I started getting ready for tennis again.  We would wake up early and run at Lincoln Park.  His Father's Day gift for me that year was running a 5K at Roosevelt Island, and it was a fun adventure and we rode on the sky tram and got lost in the subway and ended up at Brooklyn on our way home.

In the summer, the hockey director asked us if Rusty wanted to join an LTP Jamboree at Prudential Center.  For free.  It was nice to be picked out of all those kids in his group.  He also got a white Devils jersey and he picked the number 9 because he was a Taylor Hall fan at the time.

Rusty also got selected for a free week long hockey camp in August.  Ernie got selected, too, but his dad didn't see the email until it was too late and he was going away.  Bert didn't get chosen.  One of the criteria for being chosen was behavior, and unfortunately, Bert was usually one of the kids who were not exactly listening.

The program provided a bus for transportation from Jersey City to Newark.  My job at the time wasn't flexible, so I had no choice but to just drop off and pick him up from the bus stop.  As I could not be there, all through spring I kept reminding Rusty to be on best behavior.  And he would always say, "Yes, Dad."

(This is one reason why I should keep up this blog more, because now I've forgotten most of the details.)  

There were volunteers there at the rink to help kids tie their skates, put their gear on and show them where to go.  If I remember correctly, after an ice session, Rusty's head was super itchy or something, and he really wanted his helmet off.  A volunteer mom was either busy with another kid, or couldn't get his helmet off quickly enough - can't remember exactly - but anyway, Rusty screamed at her.

I can't remember how I found out about it.  I think Rusty himself told me after.  He knew he shouldn't have done that, and I think he must have been too quiet or had a guilty look or something when I picked him up.  I hated to do it, but I kept him home the next day.  It was a waste, and I hate waste, but I had warned him for months to behave.  He was super sad.  I texted the hockey director, and he said, "Fair enough."

Now that I'm writing this, I'm recalling that one of Rusty's friends from their toddler daycare days, Lino, ended up at the same elementary school and then also in Hockey In New Jersey.  But I can't remember if it was us who told them about it.  He was already a better skater then, as he had been taking lessons at Little Falls.  That's what the dad told me.  That's how new we were to hockey.  Little Falls.  Everybody else would have referred to it as Floyd Hall.  Anyways, I remember one day Lino's dad took them both to hockey camp.  I dropped off Dusty at the daycare, and Rusty waited there for Lino and his dad.  I've forgotten all about that until now that I'm writing this.

I think it was on Thursday and Friday that week that I called in sick.  I went there to hockey camp.  I met the volunteer mom, and she said it was all good.  The hockey director spoke to me and said he spoke to Rusty about it after it happened.  I guess it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it was.  He still shouldn't have done it, but I kind of understood the situation more. 

What else did we do that summer?  We played a lot of tennis, of course.  We watched the eclipse at the court.  There was tennis camp.  One of Rusty's schoolmates was there, and they were so close at the courts during those weeks, but now even when he looks at pictures, he can't recall him at all.  We kept running.  We went swimming at Lafayette Pool a lot.  Actually, now I remember we would sometimes go to the pool and then to court or vice versa.  Right before hockey camp, my mother in law flew in from Hawaii, and we went to Cape May and went places in New York City.  Oh, and in the spring, he took guitar lessons and there was Carnival Day at the new job I was freelancing in.

I think we were given free tickets to two Devils games that season.  One at Thanksgiving and one at December.  Bert's dad also invited us to a game for free, and we got to sit at some nice seats near center ice.  They told us about the kids club area, and Bert and Rusty would run over there and play during intermission.  It made me really get into the live game experience.  Rusty was too preoccupied at home to watch games on TV, but in person he actually paid attention and enjoyed it.  He still couldn't handle losses though and Bert had to console him.

Bert's dad told us about soccer.  He gave us a contact to email to ask about joining midseason, but I never heard back from the lady.  So Rusty never ended up joining.  Maybe I should have followed up more, but he wasn't really into it anyway.  We did do some soccer drills though.  Earlier that year, I had a job interview with Major League Soccer, and I didn't really know the sport that much.  I figured, if I were to get that job, I might as well know a bit about it, so that's when I started watching Red Bulls games and playing soccer with Rusty at the park.  Overall, the interview went well.  I knew all the tech and workflows that were needed for the position.  But they made it a requirement to be passionate about soccer.  

They asked, "Why are you interviewing for this job?"  

I said, "Just for kicks."  

I didn't get the position.

O-welles.  I did end up at another sports job though.  Actually, two sports.  It was the baseball network, which was also operating the hockey network.  I will write more about that later.

---

*In case you haven't noticed, the names have been changed.  Hopefully when I read this in the future I can still remember who these are supposed to be.  I should write a note for myself to keep track.*

---

By the way, if you think my job interview answer was great and super awesome, please let me know and comment about how you would have hired me on the spot.

Ice, Ice, Baby

I went through the coaching requirements earlier this season, and last week I finally decided to get on ice with Rusty's pee wee team.  This morning, I dropped of Dusty at his clinic and saw that they needed more coaches, so after I got him on, I went back to the car to get my stuff.  When I got back he was busy with his group at a station, and I went to one where the kids were by themselves.

The kids moved from station to station, and after a while, Dusty ended up where I was.  His expression was priceless.  Totally worth it.  "Dad???  You're here???"  Haha.

Dusty: "Why are you on the ice?  You're not even a coach."

Me: "Well, guess what?  I am a coach."

Dusty: [jaw drops, eyes open wide]  :-O

James!

This will surprise you, but I don't know everything.  When my kids ask about something and I don't know the answer, I don't make things up.  I just simply admit it and ask what they think.  Sometimes I think I know but then realize I don't.  Sometimes I don't know if I know.

So then I'll think about it while trying to answer them.  And I'll say, "I don't... know..."  Well, apparently, there's enough that I don't know that I had been saying this a lot.  So I would say, "I don't..."  And my older one Rusty would interrupt and say, "Know!  Jinx!"  And he would say, "Daddy, I jinxed you, you can't talk."

Eventually my younger one Dusty would do the same.  Except instead of "Jinx!" he would say "James!"  So then it would go like this:

"I don't..."

"Know!  James!  Daddy, I jamesed you."

Now I just say, "I don't know, James."

Training Days

With spring hockey being cancelled last year, Rusty and I trained at home.  I got him a net, pucks and a shooting sheet.  I never played hockey, so I just studied some YouTube videos and guided him on how to shoot.  There was actually a lot of improvement.

We would be out in the morning and again in the afternoon.  People in the neighborhood would walk by and say hello.  Usually little kids would pause and watch for a bit.  We are in a quiet dead end street.  But parallel to that is a thoroughfare street where most vehicles come in and out of our community.  We noticed that cars passing by there would slow down to see what we were doing.  I guess hockey is still a pretty rare sight for most people.

By that parallel street, there is a house at the corner where another kid lives.  I only saw him one time around Thanksgiving 2019.  I went out to throw the garbage and noticed a couple of kids throwing the football around.  Then one of them left and the other one went inside.  I thought he might have been around Rusty's age and I wondered if maybe they could be friends one day.  

This spring on one of the first few days Rusty and I were out, I noticed the dad come out of the house and look over at us, smiling.  I wanted to wave, but he had already moved on to go somewhere.  A few days later, while we were out, we saw their garage open and the dad bring out a basketball hoop.  The kid came out to play with him, and he was pretty good.

Rusty was done with his school work early, so we were out most of the day.  But everyday around four in the afternoon, the neighbor dad and his kid would come out and shoot hoops.  Rusty and I were training for hockey, and they were doing drills for basketball.  Once in a while, Rusty would stop and stare at them.  Once in a while, the kid would stop and stare at us.  Eventually, we would wave at them and they would wave back.

Rusty was moving up to Pee Wee, but two of our defensemen were staying back at second year Squirt, so we figured there would be a need for defense.  We prepared Rusty to change positions from forward.  One of the things we worked on was shooting hard from the top of the circle.

And Rusty's shot did get better.  And the pucks would travel far.  And when he missed, they would go all the way to the front of the neighbor boy's house.  We would come over to pick them up, and they would say hello and we would say hello.  Later on when our rollerblades came, we would skate by there, exchange pleasantries, have small talk and then move on.  And then we introduced each other and learned his name was Rocky, and the dad was like, oh their names are very close.

Anyways, we interacted like that through most of the summer.  I could see Rusty looking over there with interest, and Rocky was looking over here just as curious.  But with Covid, I didn't want to be so bold and suggest for them to get together, especially as I noticed their grandpa would come visit them once in a while.  (We don't have family around, so our concern is mostly about potentially spreading the virus to other people.)

One late afternoon in August, one of our other neighbors was walking around looking concerned so I asked what the matter was.  He said he was looking for some kids who were throwing water balloons.  Once he left, I walked over to Rocky and his dad Sam and asked if they saw something.  They said no.  And then casually, Sam just asked if Rusty wanted to train with them sometime.  I asked Rusty, and he was pretty excited about it.

The next day, Rusty and I were out for a morning run.  We were a little surprised to see that Sam and Rocky were out also because it was rare for them to be out so early at that time.  When we ran by, Sam told us they had a Zoom training with their basketball team in a few minutes.  I asked Rusty if he wanted to finish the run or stay, and of course, he decided to stay.  So he trained with them, and he was not that great at basketball, but Sam and Rocky were patient.  They then asked if Rocky could run with us sometime.

And that's how Rusty and Rocky became training partners.  In the morning, Rusty would come over to their house for basketball drills.  After a lunch break and some time to digest, Rocky would come over to run with us.  I would put them through conditioning and ladder drills.  Sam and I would exchange training tips.  One thing they told us is to try ice baths.  We didn't have ice, so I just got Rusty to take cold baths.  It's supposed to help with recovery, and he says he does feel better after.

I could never get Rocky to try hockey though.  He wouldn't even put on a pair of in line skates.  He has two older brothers, Colt and Tom, and usually in the afternoons they would ride their scooters around the neighborhood while Rusty was doing hockey at home.  Rocky would then come over after to play.  Usually they would just play catch with the baseball.  Sometimes I would let Rusty cut his training short so they could play together more.  It was still a long way before the season started, and it was just nice for him to have a friend he could see regularly.

Rusty did improve at basketball.  He still wouldn't be able to make Rocky's team, but it was still better than how he used to play earlier in the year.  (He was at the park before quarantine started, and the kids who were there had this look on their face like they were wondering if he was trying to hustle them or something.  They were nice enough not to laugh though.)  And we got Rocky to go from his initial one mile run all the way to doing a 5K, which is three miles.

Once fall came, Rocky started having basketball games.  Rusty started having hockey practice, and he was also on his school's Cross Country team.  We didn't have our regular two a days anymore, but they would still shoot some hoops once in a while.  Or Rocky would simply come over and they would play video games on their phones while sitting outside.  They haven't been inside each other's houses yet, just to be safe, and now that it's really cold out, they haven't sat and played games together in a while.

---

I did like that experience though.  Rusty had more fun with a training partner.  And they both did get better.

Around the summer and fall also, Rusty got closer with this girl Delilah from the Hockey In New Jersey program.  She was into skateboarding, and Rusty decided to try it also.  Once she found out he was training for cross country, she decided to try running with us.  We went to skate parks with her and her family, and they came over to our place for a Nerf war and some street hockey.

Once ice hockey got going, she got busy with her own team.  But we would go to public skate together when we can.  Her little brother plays hockey also so along with Dusty, there would be four kids skating around and chasing each other at the rink.  And the parents would just glide slowly by.

When things got shut down in December, Delilah asked if Rusty could join her in an invite only coaching session.  There was room for a couple more kids, and she asked another friend to join.  I asked the fastest and quietest kid on our team, Samson, if he was interested in coming along.  The other kid couldn't make it, but Rusty, Delilah and Samson were able to train together through December.  I think I mentioned this in another post, but the three of them were so focused together that it was kind of mesmerizing to watch on LiveBarn.  Even though Rusty and Delilah were close and talked a lot, on the ice it was just all business and no nonsense.  Rusty and Samson were teammates and had gotten close as well and they would talk to each other in the car, but not during hockey.  It was quite amazing actually.

Samson is super focused at their practices.  He's always first to line up when coach says, "Take a drink and meet me at the board."  He would be there on one knee already while the others are still fooling around.  When I give him tips and advice, he would stop whatever he is doing to listen.  He could be tying his skates or something, but he would just pause and take it in.  And then he would just simply say, "Thank you."  One time, he, Rusty and Ernie were playing games on their phone together, and I said some hockey thing to them.  The other two were still goofing off, but only Samson paused to listen.  He even had a follow up question.

He is basically a coach's dream, and I'm glad he decided to come along and train with Rusty.  Now Rusty is trying to be like him more.  These days, it's the two of them there first on one knee at the board in front of their coach.  And they are usually the two fastest kids when the team skates across the ice or is asked to do suicides.  (It's possible there are a couple of kids who could be faster, but Rusty and Samson are the ones giving the consistent effort not to get beat.)  Hopefully they can keep making each other better.

---

One other thing that Rusty and Rocky did throughout the summer was make videos.  I am in media, as you may know by now, and I helped them make some fun videos together.  Colt and Tom are planning to study media and video production as well, and the other day, Rusty and Rocky helped as production assistants.

Sam told us that he, his wife Jessica and the boys tried snowboarding.  He asked if we would like to try it sometime, and well, after years of saying no and not wanting to, I said yes.  I just know I would like it, and if I like it, then I'm gonna have to keep doing it.  But Rusty's teammates Samson, Ernie, Bert and others all go skiing and snowboarding, and I can feel he is curious if not even envious about the experience.  So we're gonna have to try snowboarding now.  And skiing, too, I guess.  And Dusty's gonna tag along.  And we're gonna like it.  And we're gonna keep doing it.  And we're gonna suck at first, but we will probably train and get better at it.

Wrap Star

How was your xmax this year?  For me, it was all right.  It didn't really feel Christmassy, I guess.  But that's also part of growing up, right?

I think the kids enjoyed it, though.  We planned to put up the tree right away after Thanksgiving, but then when I looked for it, I remembered I threw it away last year.  It was a fake one we've had for the past couple of years, and the leaves had been falling off.  So my wife ordered a new one, and I think it came late November or early in December and then we put it up right away.  We have two balconies outside, and we put up lights there.  We also had lights inside on the stairs.  And then the stockings were put up as well.

We had a lot of gifts for the kids.  When I find really good bargains during the year, I buy them and keep them in the closet for Christmas or their birthdays.  So like a football for five bucks, for example, that I got sometime in the summer became one of Rusty's presents.  So they had a bunch of presents.

I also wrap up stuff around the house.  Dusty just recently realize he loves pistachios, so I wrapped up a box of those.  Mac and cheese for Rusty.  Corned beef for me.  Macadamia nuts for my wife.  Random other stuff.

So the kids had a lot of presents to open.  When Rusty was a toddler, he loved unwrapping gifts, so that's how it all started.  He would then play with the papers and boxes.

Dusty is different.  The first toy he opens, he just wants to play with it and that's it.  He doesn't think about what else there is.  And he doesn't care that there's a lot of stuff.  When we're all done, he'll get preoccupied with one or two gifts and the rest would just go unopened.

So he's got some presents that he has unwrapped a few times now.  Christmas, birthday, and then Christmas again.  They just go back in the closet for the next event.  Next year, I probably won't wrap so much stuff.

The tree is still up.  We usually take it down around January 6th.  But we'll probably keep it up for a while.  The kids seem to enjoy it.  Also I'm lazy.

Time to Pee in a Bowl of Fish

"Time to pee in a bowl of fish!"  

Is that from somewhere?  Because my kid was just singing it over and over.  The eleven year old.  I think it might be an original.

I don't listen to music when I run.  The tempo of the songs mess me up.  When it's too upbeat, I run too fast and get gassed.  When it's slow, it's hard for me to pick up the pace once the song is over.  

Without music, I have to create my own running cadence.  And that is when random weird things pop into my head.  Like, "Time to pee in a bowl of fish, time to pee in a bowl of fish, time to pee in a bowl of fish."  Thanks to my son, this was repeating in my head over and over in my mind as I ran yesterday morning.

Remote Learning

When remote learning first started last March, the school just gave Rusty their work and let them submit it.  There were no mandatory video conferences, although there was optional time to be in a meeting with teachers.  Rusty was able to breeze through all the work in a few hours.  By midday, we would be playing outside already.

We would eat lunch out by our driveway when we can.  We would play tennis, throw the football, catch the baseball, and of course, street hockey.  My wife has back to back meetings everything, so it was usually just me, Rusty and my then four year old Dusty out there.  Sometimes I would bring my laptop and work while they played.  Mainly I would only go inside when I had a meeting and needed a quiet room.

We don't have TV.  When we first moved here, we didn't have the service up for a few days and the boys were all right.  They played with their toys and with each other, and the older one always found time to read.  So I decided not to get TV.  And I only got internet because I would need it for work.  Even then, I didn't get the fastest speed.

But when the stay at home, work from home, remote learning quarantine shutdown thing happened, eventually my wife allowed the boys to watch Netflix on her tablet.  We let them watch PBS Kids, and they got into "Nature Cat".  Once in a while I would hear the audio cut out and then them laughing hysterically.  Their new thing was hitting the space bar and laughing at the weird faces of the characters while they were paused.  They also figured out that the left arrow skipped it back a few seconds, so every time something funny happened, they would watch it over and over.  And over and over and over.

I was working upstairs at a small computer desk in the corner of our bedroom.  To get Dusty off my wife's back, I would take him up with me and give him work to do.  I gave him activities from Pre-K and Kindergarten workbooks and started him with reading and writing words.  But the little guy is lazy.  Sometimes during a meeting, I would turn around and find him sleeping on the bed with his notebook open and a pencil in his hand.  Sometimes he would just sleep on the floor.  Sometimes when I wanted to give myself a break, I would put him in the bath and he would just entertain himself for hours.

As for Rusty, since he didn't have any Zoom meetings with his classmates, I wanted to give him a break and let him play Roblox.  The deal was he could only play if his friends were on.  There were a couple of friends he would call regularly, and we would hear them on speaker.  My wife and I would just listen to their conversations while playing the game.  It was nice.  And once in a while, we would say hello and ask how they were doing and stuff.  And they were very polite.  And then they would get into the game, and well, they would get into the game.

Eventually, though, things got a little bit out of hand.  He started finding out other friends' accounts, and so he pretty much had someone to play with all the time.  Sometimes he would play in the morning while eating breakfast because one of his friends was on.  I couldn't verify it, of course, because their usernames are all different and you want to be able to trust your kid.  

I wake up early in the morning to run, and one time around 5am or so, I found him sitting at the dining table playing on the laptop.  He said he woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so he decided to play.  I told him I didn't care if his friends were on at that time and that it was too early.  So he went back up to his room and I went out for my run.

A few days later, I get woken up in the middle of the night because I hear a conversation downstairs.  I am a light sleeper, and usually I just try to get back to sleep.  But I found it odd that my wife would be in the dining room with Rusty at around one or two in the morning.  So I got up to check it out.  

It turns out he had come down to play video games on the computer.  And then I remembered that every time I would tell him it was time to come out to do some hockey training, he would always ask if he could take a nap.  I knew teenagers needed naps, so I thought maybe he is going through that nap taking phase already, even though he was only eleven.  Once I saw him down there at that hour, I realized why he was always tired in the middle of the day.  We learned that he had been doing it a few times.  

So I threw some of his books away.  The entire Harry Potter series.  This was around the time when the author was pissing me off with some of her tweets, so that was the first thing to come to mind.  I asked Rusty to get all of them and come into the kitchen.  I pulled out the garbage can and told him to put them in.  I wrapped that garbage bag, handed it to him, and made him go out to throw it away.

No more computer after that except for school.

Does that seem extreme to you?  Well, I don't care.  Haha.  A lot of people have lived with a lot less.  And he never did it again, and he still has a ton of books to read.  And we were outside more.

Sometimes I hear other parents complain that their kids play too much video games.  Their school work is suffering or they never go out or they are out of shape or their eyes are going bad.  I don't really know what to say to them or how to say it, because if it were me, I would just take it all away.  Tough noogies.

Hmmm...

My eleven year old, Rusty, is pretty independent.  He is a mostly A student, and I don't mind the one or two Bs he gets once in a while.  I know that he earned that himself.  If I were to oversee his schoolwork, I'm sure I could make him get straight As.  But if you want to be able to prepare him for high school and college, he needs to be able to do it all on his own.

He is an avid reader.  During his zoom meetings, he's got a book on his lap that he reads during class.  I think he's into the Warrior Cats books now.  I look at him and just shake my head.  As long as his grades are fine, I'm just like, whatever.

And he does it all while balancing sports (mostly hockey) and household chores.  So it's all good.  The last time he got a B, I asked what happened, and he explained that he forgot about the project.  So he learned from it and always double checks every night.  Last marking period, he did get straight As.

My younger one, Dusty, is in Kindergarten.  He sits with me in our den.  Our desks are next to each other.  I'm training him to be independent as well - as much as a five year old can be, anyway.

The thing is, he doesn't always ask for help.  Sometimes I'm deep in my work or a meeting, and I'll look over to him, and he's sniffing with tears in his eyes.  Then I ask him what's wrong and help him.

Usually the issue is with Technology class.  You would expect the Technology teacher to know technology, but no.  The first session, she shared her screen, showed a link, and then asked the kids to click on it.  She couldn't understand why it wasn't working.  It was working for her!  I would guess she eventually figured it out because she stopped doing it.  (Actually, she may have just stopped without figuring it out.)

What usually frustrates Dusty is that the class is done through Google Meet.  The school issued Chromebook is over managed and is filtering out so many websites and apps that new tabs are very slow to open.  The Technology teacher always shares a link - through chat this time - which also takes long to show up.  When you click it, the website then takes long to load.  And when it finally does load, we get kicked off the Google Meet meeting.  When you actually pay attention to the notifications, you can see that kids are leaving and coming back in all the time, so you can assume they are experiencing the same problems.  The Technology teacher's response when you bring it up?  "Yes, the internet is so slow today.  Please just keep trying."  So yeah, Dusty gets frustrated and cries.  Now I just make sure he is there for roll call and the first time he gets kicked off, I just say, "Okay, class is done.  Go play."  So he would go.  Or sometimes he would stay to play the game on the link that was shared.

Dusty mostly knows how to use Zoom and start his meetings and even submit his work.  He knows how to unmute when called upon.  He always says "Hmmm" after he answers.  For example, he'll say, "The letter C!  Hmmm..."  Also, he shouts his responses.  His big brother can hear him upstairs.  Or, he'll say, "The number two!  Hmmm..."  "The blue one!  Hmmm..."

But anyways, let's go back to last year when remote learning first started.  I was happy about it.  Rusty's school starts early at 7:40am and he would have to be at the bus stop at 7am.  I usually would walk him there, not that he needs me but I like to be present.  Which means we would have to be up by 6:30am at the latest to get ready.  So the extra time at home was welcomed.  And it was good for him to get more sleep as well.

The only thing was, the very first week of remote learning was when the Health teacher decided the fifth graders should learn about sex education.  When I received the email about how studying at home would work, this was kinda added in there somewhere, like, oh by the way, now that the kids are home with you, we're teaching them about sex, okay?  I was like, uh...

Things got busy for me those first few weeks, and with Rusty being independent, I largely forgot about it.  Later on when I remembered - I think we were watching a nature show - I asked what he learned from Health about sex education, and he said they just watched a video and that was it.  Either that or he's embarrassed to talk about it.

Argh, I do have to talk to him about it soon.  When I was younger I thought I would be able to tackle this easily.  We already had the drugs talk, and that wasn't too difficult at all.  I was able to explain that in simple terms even when he was younger.  But I have not really been able to talk to him about, you know, the sex thingy.

I have two older brothers so I kinda knew about this stuff already at such a young age.  I really like how innocent Rusty is.  We have a neighbor about nine months older than him who also has two older brothers.  He says stuff like, "That's what she said" sometimes.  Or some other jokes, and I would say to him, "Rusty doesn't get that."  Sometimes when we are watching a show or movie and my wife and I would laugh, he would ask, "What's funny about that?"  I kind of like that.  But I know I have to change that for his own good.  I just have to figure out how.

Hmmm....

Learn To Play

I haven't ran in a couple of days.  I don't have time in the weekend mornings because my younger son Dusty has hockey clinics Saturdays and Sundays.  I have to wake him up around 6am to put his gear on and get him to the rink by seven.  I kissed and hugged him this morning, and he wouldn't budge.  Then I whispered, "Do you want to go to hockey?" and, with his eyes still shut tight, he gently nodded yes.

When I carry him downstairs, I am prepared.  I have a show playing on my computer, and that's usually what wakes him up.  In December I had the Flintstones Christmas Special and "A Muppet Family Christmas".  This morning, I had "The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!"  He just lies down staring at the screen while I put his gear on him.  

And then we're off to the rink.  Sometimes he'll go back to sleep in the car.  Sometimes he'll talk.  It's the same with my older one Rusty.  As a squirt he had a bunch of 7am games (or earlier!).  And it was just nice to have that shared experience with them.  It's still dark and the streets are empty when we leave, and when we get out, the sun is out and so are the people.

Sometimes we would go over some pointers.  And sometimes he would just say random stuff.  They're usually pretty entertaining and interesting.  Unfortunately, once we get to the rink, it's all about getting game ready and a lot of that conversation is forgotten about.  (I should have kept up with this blog more and wrote them down).

I got to know one of the parents at Dusty's clinic.  (By the way, I think if it's a single session, it should be called a clinic, but if it's a series of clinics, it should be called Learn To Play.)  It's their first time with hockey and I gave him some advice.  I told him to just relax and enjoy it.  I admit when Rusty was starting, I was comparing him to the other kids who were better skaters, or could stick handle or had better awareness.  This time around with my younger one, I don't even know or care which kid can do what already.  I just see Dusty out there scraping the ice with his stick blade and then smiling and having the time of his life and I don't want to interrupt that.  I'm afraid I've ruined so many moments like that for Rusty by yelling out to skate or chase the puck.

The parent assumed that the coaches' kids are the best players, and I told him it's not necessarily so.  I said, in the end, it's all about the kid and how motivated they are.  And I told him to give his kid a little push even if he just wants to stay home and play video games.  And to just practice.

After the clinics end, Dusty still wants to hang around and watch the Zamboni.  When it comes around, he waves to the Zamboni guy and the Zamboni guy waves back.  And then we get going.  He pulls his hockey bag behind him, and he likes to roll it down the stairs and have it go bump, bump, bump.  He asks to stay at the playground for a few minutes, but it's too cold.

Big brother is now also in a roller hockey team.  Little brother napped in the car on the way to the games.  At least he got some of his sleep back.  As for big bro, he kinda has to learn to play roller hockey.  They use a lighter ball, so he is not used to controlling it.  And the surface is not the same as ice, they are not moving as fast.  And without ice skates and blades, they can't stop and change direction quickly.  But at least they get to be active and be around their friends.  And yesterday, a parent brought donuts!

I wanted to go out this afternoon and play some roller hockey on our street, but after five total sessions in the cold all weekend, I decided to stay inside and warm up my toes.  So no exercise for a couple of days for me.  Hopefully I'll be well rested for a long run tomorrow morning.

The Witch's House

On Thursday, Ernie came over to play roller hockey.  His and Rusty's teammate Casper came along as well.  I tried running some drills for them, but Casper wasn't into it.  I would show him something, and he was basically like, "Why?"  

Well, you can't really force them if they're not into it, so I let them just shoot around and play.  They did shootouts and basically a two on one free for all.  Ernie's dad bought pizzas, and after a while, we stopped and ate.

Ernie's dad Graham parked in the driveway next door.  That house is being sold so no one is currently living there.  We haven't really had a big gathering at our place because of the parking situation.  I think we've had three cars come over at most.  Anyways, Graham expressed that he hoped the new neighbors would be nice and understanding of our hockey shenanigans.  And then I told him about the old neighbors.

One week after moving in, my kids were out on the dead end street riding their bikes.  The lady next door noticed them, came out of her balcony and just flat out started yelling.  "Get your kids away from my car!"  Along with the attitude and expletives.  Apparently, they have had a history with the previous occupants of our house.  And the occupants before them.  I was taken aback and was quite shocked.  I didn't say anything back, and I told the kids to stay away from their driveway.  But I was very upset.

A couple of months later, Rusty was outside with some neighbor kids playing with their Nerf blasters.  It was a sunny summer day, and there happened to be a shade tree in their driveway, so that's where he kids decided to stay.  The lady next door opens her balcony door and starts yelling at them.  I overhear her, and I decided to yell back.  It wasn't pleasant, and I was in a rage.  Eventually, one of the neighbor kid's parents came out.  They had lived on our street for many years, and she told me to just ignore her.  Thank goodness she talked to me, because it calmed me down.

Things were tense with us from then on.  That summer and fall, I just made sure the kids stayed away from their driveway, but I made sure they felt free to come out and play on our street.  And since I'm just a big kid myself, I was always out there playing with them anyway.

Now, the lady's husband was always okay.  I said hello to him the first time I saw him, before the initial incident had occurred.  And according to the previous occupants and the other neighbor, he was never the problem.  They said maybe she was just grumpy because she was old.  But I don't like that kind of reasoning.  A lot of old people are happy.  And again, the old man wasn't as ill-tempered as her.  But still, I considered him guilty by association and never spoke to him either.  I told my kids to let me know right away if they every said or did or tried anything with them.  My wife called the lady a witch, and my younger Dusty one kept calling their place the witch's house.  "The witch lives there," he would say.

We were in hockey rinks most of the winter.  And then near the start of spring, the quarantine stay at home thing happened.  Of course, I was very concerned about the virus, and as much as I was not crazy about them, I still kind of curiously checked for some activity or, I don't know, inactivity, next door.  They mostly didn't come out and had someone come by every so often.

Late in March, we had a water main break near us.  Not quite sure of what happened, but the water pressure all over the neighborhood increased, the pipes were hammering, and some broke.  I had no idea what to do in that situation, and that is why I don't own a home nor do I want to.  My wife called the owner, and I rushed outside.  I saw another neighbor two houses down and found he was having the same issue.  He didn't know what to do either.  I had hoped the old man would know, so I knocked at his door.  They were having the same problem, but they didn't know how what to do either.  According to the owner, this kind of incident hadn't happened in fifteen or twenty years.

I ran all over the neighborhood - in slippers, and my feet were freezing.  And I found that it was indeed happening all over.  Eventually the fire department came.  They turned on the hydrants to ease the tension.  Through it all, I kept giving the neighbors updates, and they appreciated it.

Things were better after that.  The old lady said she was okay with the kids playing outside, and that I didn't need to watch them every time.  They would also say, "Hi, neighbor" and "Good morning" and all that.  When the NASA launch in 2020 happened, they were both so excited about it, and made sure to stop and tell us about it.  The old man was a sports star in his younger days.  He had seen Rusty and I training every day, and of course saw the net and sticks and asked about hockey and where we play and other things.  I said, "I'm just trying to get him ready for the season."  He said, "Oh, he's ready!"

Around October, they decided to sell their house and move to Georgia.  When they came back here one last time at Thanksgiving to get the last of their possessions, I told them, "I'm gonna give you guys credit for the voting turnout in Georgia."  But they were busy and I'm not sure if they heard me.  Later the old man gave me a push-up counting device thingy for my kid.  

I hope they are doing well down there.  That was a bad situation that could have gotten a lot worse.  Once in a while, Dusty will still refer to next door as the witch's house.  My wife will correct him and say, "No, no, baby, she is not a witch."

Hopefully the new neighbors will be cool.  When the realtor was showing the house, we left our net and sticks out on our driveway for all to see.  So I hope they know what they are getting into.

Stick Around

I was reading this article the other day.  It's an excerpt from "Confessions of a Hockey Parent".  In it, the author shares experiences about his kid's tryout going from Squirt level to Pee Wee.

I can't remember the exact lines now, and I don't feel like looking for it, but one thing that stood out for me is why my kid seems to always be last to leave the rink. Sometimes even after the goalie. He is probably subconsciously doing that just because he enjoys being around his friends. He said to me the other day, "These are my buddies. They're all my buddies."

These days, as much as he wants to get better, he is also thinking about his team when we are training. He doesn't want to let them down. It's easy to lose perspective, especially when they get competitive and excel, but the main reason you sign them up for activities in the first place is to have fun and make friends.

The characters in this story are pretty crazy about the sport. I am, too. I kind of identified with them more, although when it comes to tryouts or games or even practice, I'm generally laid back. Once they step on the ice, there's not much else you can do unless you're actually in there coaching them. I just go over the drills and the plays with my kid afterwards. He knows how to explain what they were trying to accomplish, and he also loves to tell the stories and jokes and random other things that go on.

I then follow it up at home or at public skate or open hockey. If I see something that we can improve upon, we'll work on those, too. But once he's on the ice with his coaches or when he's playing the game, I am mostly quiet. There's already a lot for them to take in, and you're only distracting or confusing them. I feel bad for the kids of the loud parents. During our playoffs game last year, there was this parent who kept yelling, "Fight, fight, fight!" (Not to literally fight, of course, but to play hard). I mean, at that point, after all those regular season games, as well as non-league games, either they know how to fight for it or they don't. Yelling in the stands is not going to change that.

Cheering is one thing, of course. That's always good to do, in my opinion. Go, team, go! But coaching from the stands is pretty futile. You can't squeeze a not orange thingie out of an orange juice. Or something. How that go?

However. There are also those parents who don't seem to be there at all. Their kids are either getting rides from a teammate, or when they do come, they are in the car most of the time. I kinda don't get that. Not trying to be judgmental or anything, but I simply don't understand why you would not be there. (Covid probably affects this, so that could be a factor). Even in practice, they can do some impressive stuff. And when they do, that's when they look for you. And you make eye contact for a split second. And they move on. And they know that you know. But then they will still ask you after practice, "Did you see the move I did?!"

Also, I've learned that kids develop at their own pace. I've heard it over and over through the years, but I've only just learned it. Does that make sense? I would work on certain skills with my kid before, and he would bust his ass and get it, but then he would step on ice at practice or games, and it's back to square one again. He had all the parts but he just could not put it all together. I would say, for example, "The first thing you do when you get on that ice is try your quick starts." All week I would repeat it. "Yes, Dad. Yes, Dad. Yes, Dad." And then he'd get on, and he'd fool around with his friends.

Only recently is he trying out this stuff on his own. He'll do mohawks and two-touch and other skills that we've been practicing over and over on our own. That kind of self awareness is just starting to develop in him. So I mean, I guess you just have to plant the seeds and wait patiently for them to grow. Not that we're all the way there yet, but at least there's progress.

He's also been fooling around less these days and focusing more. He is trying to stick with the quietest kid on the team (who is also the fastest) and trying to stay away from the ones who distract him. Trying is the operative word. Once in a while, he still gets suckered into it.  

Overall it's been good. Outside of team practice, he had a training session with a couple of other kids before. I was watching on LiveBarn and couldn't really hear, but I was also looking at their head movements, and they were not talking at all. They would take their sip breaks and get right back to it. It was fascinating. No nonsense. All business. I asked him after if they talked, and he said, "Not really".

Last year, our team would always arrive one hour before game time. Some parents hear that, and they seem to think it's too much. Some of the teams we played would roll in fifteen or even ten minutes before the game. For us, the kids would stretch and the coaches went over the game plan. What did we do the rest of the time? We were just there. We hung out. Parents and kids just talked to each other. We joked and laughed and listened to music. The team got closer because of this. Really, this is the only time the team is all together and not on ice. Having experienced that, I feel sorry for those teams where kids just show up, do their hockey thing and then just go.

So yeah, my kid likes to linger in the rink. His favorite thing is to scrape the ice off his skates and throw it at his teammates. One kid likes to steal his gloves, and they would chase each other. And a bunch of other shenanigans. It does drive me crazy. But now that I think about, I'm glad my kid doesn't rush off after practice. Because if you really love hockey, you stick around.

Get it?!