Thursday, December 31, 2015

Cannonball!

"Cannonballism is when one eats another of its own kind." - my six year old 

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Bored

I'm sitting outside my dentist's office. The door is locked. I showed up almost an hour early. I wasn't sure what the commute would be like so I made sure I had plenty of time to spare. 

I grabbed an amNY paper on the way here. I just finished the crossword puzzle. I got them all right, of course. In pen. 

Anyway, I'm staying off my phone because it's low on battery so I'm now browsing through the articles. I might just end up reading everything. I remember when I was an intern, I sat at this editor's office with nothing to do, and I read the whole paper from cover to cover. Every word of it. 

I should have grabbed a Metro, too, but I was too lazy to look for one. I hope the dentist gets here soon so I can get my teeth drilled instead of being bored out of my skull. 

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Mrs. Karate

Imagine going into a new elementary school and finding out your teacher will be Mrs. Karate. Well, that's exactly what happened to me in the sixth grade. I thought I could get my ass kicked if I didn't get the answer right.

She turned out to be a very nice teacher. And her name was Mrs. Crotty, not karate. When I was in her class, I became the spelling bee champion of the sixth grade. 

When I have another boy in class some underwear for our Secret Santa, Mrs. Crotty calmed everyone down. I think it helped them refrain from being too rough on me for that faux pas. She helped me transition from one school to another fairly well, I guess. 

In the seventh grade, she saw me standing in the hall one day. She said she really thought I would be an excellent student. My grades gradually declined, however. I believe ahe asked me to turn it around and make her proud. I never did. 

In the eighth grade, my brother came from the Philippines, and my mother could no longer afford the tuition. So I went to public school. And there I was able to slack off even more. 

Sometimes I would hang out in front of my old Catholic school. Once in a while I would see some former classmates. One of them told me she died from cancer or something. 

I felt sad. But I felt comfort at the fact that her soul had gone to Heaven with God. I strongly believed in that stuff at the time. 



Tuesday, December 8, 2015

The Devil you don't.

So tonight we were watching the New Jersey Devils game. After the commercials, they made this announcement for a promotion: "The Devils and Team Win Sweepstakes". Ryan sees it, and he goes, "Let's go, Devils! Boo, Team Win Sweepstakes!" And he kept repeating it over and over. 

For you see, he thought the opponent's name was Team Win Sweepstakes. He doesn't watch hockey very much. 

Monday, December 7, 2015

Blunderwear

Have you seen this commercial about giving underwear for the holidays? It's funny. It tells you whether it's okay to give underwear to some people and whether it's not.



Well, I could have used that advice on the sixth grade. I came to the U.S. at the end of August of that year, and I really had no idea what American kids were like. I barely spoke at my first school in Queens and then had to start over in a new school when we moved to Jersey City in December. I found out the class would be exchanging gifts for Christmas, and I was at a loss at what to get. 

One day at home, someone gave me their xmax present early. I don't remember the circumstances as to why I opened it right away when I got it. I think I had asked my mom for advice regarding my Secret Santa at school, and she had this brilliant idea: Why not just re-gift this present? Of course, the term re-gift was not yet coined at the time, and the idea of simply passing a present along didn't seem wrong or indecorous. 

So I opened the gift. It was a box of underwears. I don't remember the brand or who gave it. Some distant relative I had never met in the Philippines is my guess. I re wrapped it, put my classmate's name on it, and brought it to school. 

When the day came, the laughter and snickering took me by surprise. I thought it was a practical thing. I mean, after all, doesn't everybody use underwear? Lesson learned. Don't give a box of briefs to a boy you barely know in a new school in the sixth grade. Suffice it to say, I didn't make any lifelong friends in that school. 




Sunday, December 6, 2015

Futudrama

So one day after work, we were sitting around the living room, and I decide to turn on the tv. I usually let my boy watch PBS Kids, but he was grounded at the time so he couldn't watch it. There wasn't really anything good on in the thousands of channels that were available. But "Futurama" was on at Comedy Central. So I was like, what the hell. 

So we watched it. But there were commercials. And I hate commercials. So I broke out the DVDs. And when I watch a tv series, it's hard not to watch the entire series. 

So for a few weeks now we had been watching "Futurama" after school. It's not exactly made for six year olds, but we made sure he knows not to say "Bite my shiny metal ass" at school. 

His favorite episode is the one where Fry, Leela and Bender become superheroes. One day he took some Lego pieces and said he was playing Futurama. He was singing "The New Justice Team" theme song and repeating the show's dialogue. 

We are currently at Season 4. The other day, he sees Richard Nixon's head and says, "Ugh. I don't like Richard Nixon. He's so mean and grumpy." We laughed. Then he made up a song about it. It was funny. You had to be there. 

One night, my wife went to do the laundry and Ryan and I watched while the baby slept. The episode was called "Jurassic Bark". It was about Fry's dog, who kept waiting for him after he was cryogenically frozen and never came back until he was thawed in the future. 

Usually he'll ask for more after the episode. But this time he just sat quietly, staring at the menu. So I asked him what was wrong. 

That's when the tears came. "Seymour kept waiting and waiting. And Fry had everything ready but he didn't want to clone him!" Or something like that. He was bawling. Poor little guy. He even reenacted how the dog got old and died. 

I just hugged him. I told him it was a sad story and that it's okay to cry. And then I wiped his tears. 

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Cool story, bros.

Sometimes when my little boy finishes reading, I tell him, "Cool story, bro." Then he'll smile at me. And he'll say, "Thanks, Martin."

Everytime he hears "bro" he thinks of the Kratt brothers. He says, "You're Martin because you're bigger, and I'm Chris because I'm smaller." 

That's a pretty good show, "Wild Kratts", hosted by the Kratt brothers. They have some cool stories, bro. I let him watch it all the time, and he remembers all the details about the animals he see in that show.  I also let him watch "Zoboomafoo", and he loves that show, too. 


Friday, December 4, 2015

Flush Capacitor

I like to flush the toilet while I'm peeing. I like to race the drain and see if I can finish before the rushing water. I've been doing it for years. I don't know why I started doing it. I pretty much do it out of habit now and never even think about it. It drives my wife crazy, especially when I lose the race and there's still some pee in the water. Sometimes I forget to re-flush. Anyways, just thought you should know.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

On the other foot.

My baby likes to kick off the blanket. When he's awake, and you put a blanket on him, his legs casually, almost instinctively, go up in the air, and his feet come out of the blanket and down over them. If he doesn't get it done right the first time, he'll do it again. And again. Until his feet are free.

Are most babies like this? I don't know, but his big brother was like that, too, when he was a baby. And their mother as well. Her feet are always sticking out of the blanket. If not both, at least one somehow. With all three of them, I'll cover them up. And when I check on them later one, the feet are out again.

But I'm not like that at all. In fact, I can't have any part of my lower body out of the blanket. I feel awkward. Almost vulnerable. And I can't have my arms or feet hanging down over the side of the bed either.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

On the other hand.

"Planes, Trains and Automobiles" came on at Thanksgiving, so I decided to watch a little of it. The scene came on where they are in bed in the hotel room and Steve Martin says to John Candy, "Those aren't pillows!" You know the one.

But if you don't, basically, the two guys wake up cuddling together and Steve Martin says to John Candy, "Why are you kissing my neck?" or something like that, and then John Candy says, "I don't know, why are your holding my hand?" And then Steve Martin asks him, "Where's your other hand?" and he says, "In between two pillows." "Those aren't pillows!" Then they jump out of bed.

My little boy laughs like crazy. Then a couple of minutes later, he gets real quiet. And he says out loud, "I wonder where his other hand was."

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Blogstop

I started this blog about six years ago after we had our first kid. I figured it would be good to write about all the adventures that come with raising a baby. Well, fast forward to today and I've barely kept up with it.

The thing is, it's pretty tough finding time to write with a newborn in the house. Especially since we didn't have a big support system to help out. And sometimes when you do finally get some time to write, you're just too exhausted to do it. Also, I tried to have every post just perfect, but I couldn't always describe the moments as well as I wanted to.

Besides, with the few that I've already written, I've barely looked back on them anyway.

So what has happened since the last time I posted whenever that was? We moved out of our home of six years into a new place. We had another baby. Well, not we. My wife did. But I did the moving all by myself, what with my wife being pregnant and all. I should have just paid for a mover because it was pretty tiring and frustrating, to be honest. Maybe I'll explain all that in detail later on. If I feel like it.

My firstborn started elementary school. And that's kinda why we finally had another one. We sorta realized how soon time flies. We had been waiting for some sort of financial windfall, I guess. Which never came, of course. There were some slight improvements, though. One of them being that we finally paid of our car, and that made a huge difference. Plus, not having to pay for daycare with the firstborn going to a charter school. So then yeah, we had another one.

And that's kinda why I'm trying to revive this blog.


Friday, March 6, 2015

Queue Tips: Better Watch Saul

I liked "Breaking Bad", but I wasn't like crazy die-hard about it like other people seem to be. It started out pretty good, but I wasn't too crazy about a couple of their seasons (2 and 3, I think). Still, it was better than a lot of other shows out there. Killing off some characters helped, and I felt like the series was really strong near the end.

One thing that I was hated that constantly kept happening, is how Walter keeps surviving by bargaining with his enemies. They would have him tied up, getting ready to shoot him, and for some reason, they stop at the last second and listen to him talk them out of it. Other shows do this, too, and

I just find it real annoying and lazy. And it just kept happening in "Breaking Bad". Well, just on the second episode of its spinoff, the same scenario has happened already.

Nonetheless, "Better Call Saul" is an excellent series. It is obviously done by a seasoned cast and crew. It is well done overall, from the cinematography, to the acting and editing.

I never realized what the name Saul Goodman meant until the character actually spelled it out for everyone. It's all good, man. LOL

Anyways, check it out if you haven't yet. Better watch "Better Call Saul".

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Queue Tips: Cheers to Cheers

I don't know. Maybe it's my fault that the Patriots won the Super Bowl. You see, in order to avoid all the pregame shows, I decided to watch "Cheers" on the weekend of the big game. Maybe if I had chosen to watch "Frasier" instead, the Seahawks would have won.

I had been watching "The Office" throughout the fall. Following the story of Jim and Pam made me want to revisit Sam and Diane. So I decided to rewatch the Boston based sitcom.

Interestingly, we were watching "Cheers" while we were pregnant with Timeout Boy six years ago. Then when he was born, we were watching "The Office". When he was a little toddler crawling around the living room, he would always look up whenever the theme song played and then return to playing once the music was over.

Anyways, I gained a newfound appreciation for Shelley Long this time around. She was really amazing and funny. Her writers actually created a great role for her.

I never realized that before. When I first watched the series, Kirstie Alley was the female lead. I had already grown fond of her when I realized that there had been someone else before her.

The show used to come on after the ten o'clock news on Channel 11 in New York. I remember the news anchor (usually Kaity Tong) would always say at the end of the broadcast, "'Cheers' is next." And then "Cheers" would be next.

I was 12 years old when I first discovered the show. Or maybe 13. I was in the seventh grade. It's kind of funny how it happened, but it's sort of been how I've gotten into new things.

When I first came to America at 11 years old, I used to just watch whatever shows my mom was watching. They were shows like "Full House", "America's Funniest Home Videos" and Columbo TV movies or something. On New Year's Eve 1992, while staying up to welcome 1993, WPIX-11 had a "Honeymooners" marathon. So I watched that, and I learned that it came on at 11:30pm. So I programed the VCR to record it at nights. I would watch it in the mornings, and I would always catch the tail end of "Cheers".

I remember just seeing the credits appearing on that shot of the empty bar. That image, along with the soft saxophone (I think) always gave me a melancholy feeling. It made me feel like I just missed a fun event. And it being a bar, and me going through puberty, it was like I had missed out on on a mature grown up adult event. And it kind of made me curious of what it was.

I think I saw a story on TV Guide or something. After all, it was the number one show on television. I don't remember which I watched first, the syndicated reruns or the current primetime show. I think it was the Thursday night show though, because I would have still been up for that. But then later on, I started taping the 11pm reruns.

In the mornings, I would wake up, rewind the tape and watch the previous night's rerun. That was my morning routine while I changed for school. And I timed it just so I finished the show before having to leave the apartment.

So I moved on from Ninja Turtles and G.I. Joe to Sam and Rebecca and Norm and Cliff.

At the time, the show was on its 10th season, while the reruns were of Season 9 at the time that I began tuning in. There was the 200th episode show, and that was when I first saw Shelley Long and learned about Diane Chambers. As well as Coach Pantuso. Eventually, the reruns went back to the first episode. I never fully appreciated those two characters, I think, because in the back of my mind, I was just waiting for when Rebecca Howe and Woody Boyd would come along.

This time around, after not watching the show for a few years, I was able to just enjoy each episode. Again, I found Shelley Long simply amazing. I think it was actually great for the show that she left. The producers and writers were able to take everything away from the lead character and start over. And they brought in a new lead who was totally different from the previous one.

It's funny that some of the things that I never thought about as a kid kind of bother me now. Like how the characters would always come to the bar before and after going anywhere. They would come in dressed up for their trip, or they would lug their luggage down the steps say goodbye to the gang and then carry their bags up to the street again. Things like that.

I was pretty smart as a kid, and aware of certain things, but there were jokes that I originally didn't catch. I also noticed that they seemed to try to make the bar patrons diverse in the background. It doesn't make up for the fact that the cast was all white. Or that one of the first times a black guy had multiple lines, he was brought in to indicate a threat of violence.

Anyways, it was good that the show ended when it did. They were pretty much running out of ideas, and they were able to leave on a high note. (Unlike "The Office", and I'll get into that later.) But obviously, "Cheers" was able to influence the situational comedy genre. Like the elaborate pranks you see on "The Office" or the inane conversations on "Seinfeld" or the adult jokes on "Married... with Children".

And I'm not sure about this, but they were probably the first to have a shortened theme song. I think this came about during the to-be-continued episodes around Season 4 or 5. They edited a shorter version of the song, and flashed the names fast to fit it. I also noticed that they added the background "Ah-ha"s on the fourth season as well. I remember thinking that it sounded like it was Woody singing the song, and then there was an episode where he sings the Kelly song on the piano.

I guess I'll check out "Frasier" next. I've only seen a few episodes of it. I was never really into it, although I never hated it or anything. It's funny that he mentioned that his parents were dead on "Cheers" (Season 4, I think).