Commuter Illiterate: Don't hate, motivate.

Here is a case where this post's category actually applies.  There are actually commuters out there who are illiterate.  There are many who don't understand English.  I wonder what those people will think when they see cute little animals all over the PATH train later on this year.

The above are two examples of motivational posters that the Port Authority Trans-Hudson is reportedly planning to unleash on the public.  It is supposed to motivate people to be nice to each other.  Commuters who encounter these pictures will be overcome with warmth and kindness and be inclined to be nice to each other.  I asked Santa for peace on earth, and it looks like he has enlisted the PATH system to make it come true.

What better way to get your message across through the hustle and bustle of rush hour than with long-winded paragraphs?  The first one up there features a cute little big eyed owl.  Those birds, of course, are associated with being smart.  They're certainly smart enough not to commute.  Pa-dum-pum!  They can simply fly away.

The text asks the passenger to be aware of their oversized backpack.  What about those who carry humongous purses?  Or those who carry a bunch of teeny tiny ones and a few little brown bags for the things that don't fit in the teeny tiny little purses?  What about those with just the oversized backs and rear-ends?  And fronts?  And sides?

The other one shows two kittens sharing a bowl of milk, and the text asks that you offer your seat.  But the kittens are sharing.  The one is not giving it up to the other.  Am I supposed to share my seat with the elderly, pregnant or disabled?  I don't think we'll fit.  Especially if all three of them ride at the same time.  It's confusing, you see.

Apart from spending the people's money on motivational posters, though, a good way to encourage courtesy would be to run a train system smoothly and efficiently.  Generally, I find that humans are kinder and gentler when they are not stressed out by impending tardiness at work, being crushed in a train car packed beyond capacity, being yelled at and herded by PAPD officers like cattle, and/or finding out en-route that your train will not be stopping at your station but to another one in downtown NYC where you'll have to locate the MTA subway and stand in a long line to buy a Metrocard to be taken to the location where you should have been over an hour ago.

In light of that, I have designed my own motivational poster for the PATH system itself.

I wonder what else they've got in store.  Maybe they'll use that cute little kitten to motivate people to hold on to the poles.  Hang in there, baby!  Better yet, they should use a picture of the homeless guy who wants money for food.  Something like this, maybe?

Hm.  I always thought his name was Larry.  By the way, don't actually give him money.  Panhandling is illegal.  If you see Teddy, Larry or others, you are advised to report it to the Port Authority Police.  You could actually be arrested by giving money to him as well.  Apart from begging and making loud announcements, he pushes his way across the crowded train cars, and that is simply not the courteous thing to do.