Chum Bucket: Mona Lott.

I received a text message not too long ago from Mona Lott.  She was updating her contacts and asked if it was still me on that number.  I ignored it.  I've just had it with some people.  With most people actually.  It's just my personality, I'm afraid.  I put up with people for so long, and then all of a sudden I'm done.

It's partly my fault because I don't say anything.  It's what frustrates my wife sometimes.  I keep to myself when I'm mad about something and still expect people to change anyway.

Maybe I should have told Mona that she talks too much about people and that she's too self-absorbed.  Too many years have passed since we became friends in high school and it's just a little too late now, I think.  If I saw her on the street, I would probably say hello and move on, but I don't feel much like chatting on the phone or online about mostly her life while she largely ignores mine.

The last straw really came about a year ago after my son was born.  She had her daughter a couple of months before, and I remember her emailing me pictures of her daughter Wynona Lott*.  When my son Rocky* came, I made sure I emailed her pictures of him as well, and I put on the subject line, "Here's Rocky!"

*fake names


So a few months later and we're chatting about how great it is being parents.  And I ask about how Wynona Lott is doing.  She tells me all about her and then she asks, "What was your son's name again?"  And for some reason, I was highly offended.  We went on messaging for a bit more, but I disappeared from her world afterwards.

In my opinion, I don't think it should be that hard to remember the child's name of your longtime friend.  I certainly remembered her daughter's name.  I find things like that to be especially important.


That question pretty much epitomized our friendship, I think.  I listen to her, empathize with her problems and delight at her joys.  Meanwhile at the end of the day, it's just, "By the way, how are you doing?" for me.  I don't know if I'm justified in my decision to move on from her friendship.  I'm certainly very happy though.  That much I'm sure of.

I'm not even sure why we became friends in the first place.  I was mostly the different guy in high school.  While everybody listened to hip hop and R&B, I was into rock.  Mona was discovering alternative music and came to me for suggestions.  I let her borrow some CDs and we talked about the bands.  I think that's pretty much how we became close.

We were also both in the same art course.  She kept confiding in me about problems with her boyfriend, and I talked to her about the girl I had a crush on.  I told her one time I liked it when girls wore ponytails, and one night during her many break ups with her boyfriend, she invited me over.  She had her hair tied in a ponytail, which she never, ever did before.  It was a little weird.  I just didn't see her that way.  I kind of got out of there quickly.

There's this one night I will never forget during college.  Well, not the whole night but a specific part of it.  She and I and another friend were at Liberty State Park, and we sat on the benches talking, and across the river you could see the Twin Towers in the New York City skyline.  It was just really beautiful, and I regret not going back there again.