Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Chum Bucket: Carmen Getit.

I wrote about my best buddies in grade school yesterday, so today I decided to write about the girls.  What better place to start than my first crush, Carmen Getit.  Carmen was this pretty girl who actually became the school queen or something year after year when we've had those fund-raising things.  She was the Valentine queen or something like that.  She was also always voted the class muse.

We sat at the same table in the first grade, and this really dumb friend of mine, whose name I forget, would tease her from time to time.  In the town where I grew up, kids and teachers are dismissed at noon for the lunch hour, and one day my friend and I followed her home.  After a few blocks, my friend lost heart and we turned back.  But I remember really wanting to keep going.

For years I paid no attention to other girls because I just remember knowing that I wanted Carmen to be my girlfriend.  It was just my idea of love, I guess.  I also thought my older brothers were meant to be with their girlfriends at the time.  So at a very early age, I was already holding a torch for someone.

I never did anything about it.  I mean, I was a kid, you know.  I think if I didn't grow up with two older brothers, I wouldn't have even thought about girls like that.  I think she liked me back, though.  She used to run her fingers through my hair.  Then she would say something like, "I like running my fingers through your hair."  And I would just stand there blushing, but enjoying every moment of it.

I remember for a while, we would be alone at the schoolyard with her cousin and my brother at the end of the day.  My brother would take me on his bike and ride by her and tell her I liked her.  Then she and her cousin would laugh.  One day I was playing around with my brother and as I was running, I fell right in front of her.  I got this big gash on my knee from it.  It was embarrassing and my brother laughed.  I think Carmen was concerned though.

Around the third or fourth grade, there was a time when all the boys acted like jerks to all the girls.  We would run around shouting that they had AIDs and stuff like that.  I remember Carmen getting mad at me and lecturing me while poking me in the chest repeatedly.  I just stood there not saying anything back.  And enjoying every moment of it.  That was the closest I ever got to her.

Kids our age in our town didn't "hook up", as the kids these days would say.  I don't remember anybody being anybody's boyfriend or girlfriend until I left and went to America in the sixth grade.  Then everybody here was watching "Beverly Hills 90210" and talking about dating and stuff.  That change was always confusing for me.  I didn't know whether it was an age thing or a cultural thing.




But you wanna hear something messed up?  Let's go back to the Philippines when I was ten years old.  My dad knew about her and that I liked her.  (He also knew she had a rich family.)  One night he just starts going off about me making her my girlfriend.  He told me that she talked to him.  Apparently, she had been noticing that I've been staring at her, and when she would look at me, I would look away.  Apparently, she wanted me to stop being shy around her and tell her I liked her.  Apparently, she described to my dad how I acted around her, which as it turns out, is how most boys apparently acted around their crushes.  Yup, my dad liked fucking with our heads.

I still never told her though.  But I did remain loyal.  I remember seeing this really pretty girl by the school's gate one day.  She was walking in as I was walking out.  We made eye contact and then went on our way.  I wondered where the hell she came from and why I've never seen her before.  And then I remembered Carmen and moved along.

I wasn't sad about leaving her behind when I moved away.  I just never really thought that much about it.  It never occured to me that it would be ten years before I would return to the Philippines.  My feelings had faded away over time.  I wonder if my feelings would have faded away if I had stayed.

Wow, I didn't expect to write so much about her, so I'll post about the other girls, female friends in grade school, tomorrow.

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