Sunday, January 24, 2021

Mighty Mites

Rusty joined Hockey in New Jersey in October 2016.  Back then we were living at an apartment in a different part of town, on the other side of the highway.  In the mornings, we would wait for the school bus next to an empty parking lot. 

It was nice to have that space there.  There was a group of about ten kids there, and they would play together.  I remember football and tag and diggy diggy diamond (whatever that is).  I got to know the parents, and we would chat.  We exchanged numbers, so if the bus came early, we would call whoever wasn't there yet.  Or if a parent had to rush off, they would leave their child with another.

As I said before, we don't have family around, so it was nice to make that connection.  Nice to have people to depend on, especially since I had a different job back then, which wasn't as easygoing as the one I have now.  It wasn't often, but we helped out each other whenever we could.

One day, I saw a tweet about Hockey In New Jersey.  I saw a similar tweet the previous year, but I disregarded it, knowing that Rusty was not a great skater.  This time though, I read the details and saw "no experience necessary".  So then, I thought, all right, whatever, let's do it.

I told the other parents about it, and two of them signed up their two kids.  Two groups of two siblings.  (In the back of my mind, I was also thinking about being able to carpool sometimes since we just lived a couple of blocks from each other.)  I also told some of Rusty's schoolmates, including his best friend Bert, and they told Ernie.

Two of the neighbor siblings were older and had different ice times so we didn't see them.  The other two, Woody and Gordy, were in Rusty's age group.  The other kids at the bus stop were either not interested, or their parents were too busy, which was too bad.  I kind of wanted to volunteer my services and take the kids to practice, but at the same time, I didn't want to let them down if I wasn't able to be there.  One of them, Davis, was actually Rusty's classmate but I think he was more into basketball at the time.

We went to equipment pickup one day after school in October.  It was a bit messy and disorderly.  I realize now that this is a nonprofit that relies on volunteers, and they were doing their best.  But at the time, I remember being a little frustrated, although I stayed calm the entire time.  Rusty and I went into the locker room, where the gear was laid out for the kids to try.  That was when we first smelled that hockey smell.  Oh, boy.  The force was strong with that one.

They didn't have enough hockey bags, so some of the kids took their gear home in big black garbage bags.  When we did get home, Rusty put his gear on, and we took pictures.  At night, he lay in his bed wearing his equipment.  He was joking that he would sleep in them, and I think he actually would have if we had let him.

The next Saturday was his first session on ice.  I took the hockey director's advice and arrived an hour early to put gear on.  That was when we saw Ernie and his dad walk in, after thinking that they wouldn't do it because his mom said they were already busy with hockey.  We got ready and had plenty of time before their session began.  

Tennis was our main sport, and this was just something to do in the winter so we weren't worrying too much about it.  Some of the kids were stressing out about it though, and this was mainly due to their parents.  Lots of last minute advice and tips and figuring out how to put the gear on.  Once they got on ice, it was natural to be curious and take pictures, but then there were still a lot of coaching from the stands, from people who probably never played hockey before either.  

The hockey director told us to just relax and let the kids learn to play, but I guess that was pretty hard for most of the parents.  Woody and Gordy's mom, while a nice lady, was one of these.  One of the things that kind of bugged me was that with five minutes left in the session, she would pull the boys off ice so they could be first in the locker room.  Sometimes she would call on them while they were still engaged in a drill.

And yes, the locker rooms were packed.  I think we only had one for the entire clinic at first.  And there would be both parents and siblings in there with the hockey players.  At times I had to take Dusty with us, and he was still in his stroller at the time, at just one year old.  Eventually, I had Rusty change out of his gear on one of the benches outside.  And then later on, we would only take off the skates and helmet as we would then rush off to Secaucus public skate with Ernie.  

I actually remember now, one of their other schoolmates, Kevin, and his little brother, would come with us to those sessions after.  I hardly knew them, but Ernie's dad told them about it as their dad used to play hockey.  We hardly interacted at public skate either, and they mostly kept to themselves.  That summer the parents parents signed them up for clinics at the ice house, and they came back the next year as much better players.  They could hardly stand on ice previously, but now they were doing hockey stops and skating fast, which Rusty still was not able to do.  

That year also, at second grade, Kevin and Rusty were both in the Spelling Bee finals, which Rusty won.  Later on, Kevin would stop coming to Hockey In New Jersey and play goalie for another team.  When Rusty's team faced them last year, I reminded him who the goalie was, and Rusty couldn't remember him at all.  I remember seeing them walk into the old rink, and the dad looking all serious like they were on a mission, and then Rusty getting a hat trick and our team beating them to take first place.  (Rusty actually had four goals, but the ref gave one of them to a teammate.)  And then we faced them in the first round of the playoffs and beat them again.

Anyways, where was I?  Back to that first year.  The carpool thing that I had hoped for with out neighbors never happened.  Not even once.  One time, Woody and Gordy's mom texted me that one of the boys (can't remember which) wasn't feeling well and that they weren't going that day.  I told her I could give the other one a ride, but she said nah they'll just stay home instead.  They missed one or two other sessions later on and never asked for any help with rides.  The following year, she decided not to sign them up again.  Last summer they gave us both kids' uniforms because they had gained weight and it didn't fit them anymore.  I hear they are always indoors playing video games.

One other thing that bugged me about their mom.  Around Thanksgiving, the Devils donated a bunch of tickets for the kids to watch a game for free.  (The Devils were not having a great season that year.)  Most families were given four, but I only took two for me and Rusty.  We looked for Woody and Gordy at the game but never saw them.  At the next clinic session, I asked the mom what happened, and she said she decided not to go and sold the tickets.  I think that would have been a great experience for the kids, especially with a bunch of their friends being there, but that's what she decided to do instead.

The two other neighbor kids, from the older group, Harry and Carey, were at the game.  His dad said they were doing well and were enjoying it.  A year or two later though, his job assigned him to Los Angeles.  He would travel back and forth.  The mom was not able to take them to hockey, so I told them I could do it, but I think they were too shy to accept.  I didn't really press on as they were in a different age group and had different ice times anyway, although the hockey director had been letting Rusty on at other sessions when we decided to come.  I've never seen them skate and they are no longer playing hockey.

Some of that stuff makes me sad.  Seeing how happy and excited Woody and Gordy were, and hearing Harry and Carey say how much they loved the sport.  Looking at how Rusty has improved over the years, it makes me feel bad about the wasted opportunity.

The good thing is, while some friends had decided to drop out of the sport, Rusty has gone on to make new friends.  Some of the kids from the program have moved on to other travel teams, and it's nice to see them sometimes.  Rusty and I have fun looking at the league rosters and recognizing names and looking forward to beating them.  And of course, he is now teammates with Bert and Ernie and finding success together.  They actually got to play in the same line for a couple of shifts last Saturday.

And I made some friends as well.  As you get older, people get busy with their own lives or move away or just drift into different directions.  I got to know some hockey moms and dads.  I got close with some of them, and even those I am that not close to, I bump into them at other rinks and clinics and say hello or chat.

With tennis, it was just Rusty and me most of the time.  I was still considering getting serious and finding a professional coach and putting him into competition.  The reason I hadn't done so yet was because of his meltdowns and frustrations and little dramas that I've been seeing on the court.  I was afraid putting him in real matches would make him hate the sport.  And then we get into hockey, and there's all these other kids there, and I realize, it's not just my kid.  All the meltdowns and frustrations and little dramas were normal.  Other kids go through it, too.  I had been worrying so much, like why is my kid so different?  And it turns out, every kid is like that at one point.  Everybody else seems normal because you don't see it because the parents pull them aside to deal with it.  So that was one lesson that hockey taught me.

But we were still not that into the sport yet.  After the clinic sessions ended in March, Rusty and I started getting ready for tennis again.  We would wake up early and run at Lincoln Park.  His Father's Day gift for me that year was running a 5K at Roosevelt Island, and it was a fun adventure and we rode on the sky tram and got lost in the subway and ended up at Brooklyn on our way home.

In the summer, the hockey director asked us if Rusty wanted to join an LTP Jamboree at Prudential Center.  For free.  It was nice to be picked out of all those kids in his group.  He also got a white Devils jersey and he picked the number 9 because he was a Taylor Hall fan at the time.

Rusty also got selected for a free week long hockey camp in August.  Ernie got selected, too, but his dad didn't see the email until it was too late and he was going away.  Bert didn't get chosen.  One of the criteria for being chosen was behavior, and unfortunately, Bert was usually one of the kids who were not exactly listening.

The program provided a bus for transportation from Jersey City to Newark.  My job at the time wasn't flexible, so I had no choice but to just drop off and pick him up from the bus stop.  As I could not be there, all through spring I kept reminding Rusty to be on best behavior.  And he would always say, "Yes, Dad."

(This is one reason why I should keep up this blog more, because now I've forgotten most of the details.)  

There were volunteers there at the rink to help kids tie their skates, put their gear on and show them where to go.  If I remember correctly, after an ice session, Rusty's head was super itchy or something, and he really wanted his helmet off.  A volunteer mom was either busy with another kid, or couldn't get his helmet off quickly enough - can't remember exactly - but anyway, Rusty screamed at her.

I can't remember how I found out about it.  I think Rusty himself told me after.  He knew he shouldn't have done that, and I think he must have been too quiet or had a guilty look or something when I picked him up.  I hated to do it, but I kept him home the next day.  It was a waste, and I hate waste, but I had warned him for months to behave.  He was super sad.  I texted the hockey director, and he said, "Fair enough."

Now that I'm writing this, I'm recalling that one of Rusty's friends from their toddler daycare days, Lino, ended up at the same elementary school and then also in Hockey In New Jersey.  But I can't remember if it was us who told them about it.  He was already a better skater then, as he had been taking lessons at Little Falls.  That's what the dad told me.  That's how new we were to hockey.  Little Falls.  Everybody else would have referred to it as Floyd Hall.  Anyways, I remember one day Lino's dad took them both to hockey camp.  I dropped off Dusty at the daycare, and Rusty waited there for Lino and his dad.  I've forgotten all about that until now that I'm writing this.

I think it was on Thursday and Friday that week that I called in sick.  I went there to hockey camp.  I met the volunteer mom, and she said it was all good.  The hockey director spoke to me and said he spoke to Rusty about it after it happened.  I guess it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it was.  He still shouldn't have done it, but I kind of understood the situation more. 

What else did we do that summer?  We played a lot of tennis, of course.  We watched the eclipse at the court.  There was tennis camp.  One of Rusty's schoolmates was there, and they were so close at the courts during those weeks, but now even when he looks at pictures, he can't recall him at all.  We kept running.  We went swimming at Lafayette Pool a lot.  Actually, now I remember we would sometimes go to the pool and then to court or vice versa.  Right before hockey camp, my mother in law flew in from Hawaii, and we went to Cape May and went places in New York City.  Oh, and in the spring, he took guitar lessons and there was Carnival Day at the new job I was freelancing in.

I think we were given free tickets to two Devils games that season.  One at Thanksgiving and one at December.  Bert's dad also invited us to a game for free, and we got to sit at some nice seats near center ice.  They told us about the kids club area, and Bert and Rusty would run over there and play during intermission.  It made me really get into the live game experience.  Rusty was too preoccupied at home to watch games on TV, but in person he actually paid attention and enjoyed it.  He still couldn't handle losses though and Bert had to console him.

Bert's dad told us about soccer.  He gave us a contact to email to ask about joining midseason, but I never heard back from the lady.  So Rusty never ended up joining.  Maybe I should have followed up more, but he wasn't really into it anyway.  We did do some soccer drills though.  Earlier that year, I had a job interview with Major League Soccer, and I didn't really know the sport that much.  I figured, if I were to get that job, I might as well know a bit about it, so that's when I started watching Red Bulls games and playing soccer with Rusty at the park.  Overall, the interview went well.  I knew all the tech and workflows that were needed for the position.  But they made it a requirement to be passionate about soccer.  

They asked, "Why are you interviewing for this job?"  

I said, "Just for kicks."  

I didn't get the position.

O-welles.  I did end up at another sports job though.  Actually, two sports.  It was the baseball network, which was also operating the hockey network.  I will write more about that later.

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*In case you haven't noticed, the names have been changed.  Hopefully when I read this in the future I can still remember who these are supposed to be.  I should write a note for myself to keep track.*

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By the way, if you think my job interview answer was great and super awesome, please let me know and comment about how you would have hired me on the spot.

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