The summer of 2008 was not exactly the best time to plan for a child. Which is why Timeout Boy was not exactly planned for. He just pretty much came as a pleasant surprise.
We had no doubt we wanted him, but of course, with the recession and my already low-paying job, I was very worried. Actually, I was terrified.
We were not even married yet because I had hoped to actually have a real career going first. I hoped for a nice Hawaiian wedding in Maui or something. I was going to have some kind of really awesome proposal which I hadn't even thought of yet. But it would have been awesome.
So the weekend we found out was full of different emotions. Some relief that our newly discovered baby was alive and well in the womb. Some anxiety about the cost and the work it takes to become parents. Some curiosity about whether it would be a boy or girl, and healthy. And of course, happiness and excitement about our child.
My wife was worried about telling her mom, who had wanted her to finish her Master's before starting a family. Of course, we couldn't tell anybody until we had told her. So we had to keep it quiet. I'm pretty good with secrets so I didn't tell a single soul about it.
The next day, I came to work and had a session with a big-name client. (I don't know who you are, but you would probably know who he is.) And wouldn't you know it, our project was involving home videos of his kid. I don't really know what I believe in, and I'm not sure about fate and coincidences, but with my mind on the weight of having to support another life, I had to sit their and watch moments of a child born with with a silver spoon.
Looking back, I think I should have at least told my boss about it. My feeling now is that he may have resented that. I don't even remember when and how I finally told him and my co-workers. But I said I wouldn't tell, so I didn't tell.
My wife did tell somebody though. It was her best friend, whom I will call Jess Dewitt. She and her boyfriend were really supportive. They gave my wife a ride home everyday. She didn't have her license then, so I would drop her off in the morning and leave the car at the parking lot where she worked. She would then have to wait for me, take the bus, or walk home. We used to live a few blocks from her job.
I have to say her co-workers were very supportive of her as well. Many of them knew her from when she first moved to New Jersey from Hawaii and are aware that she is pretty much alone here. She really didn't have anybody here until we met. And I don't really have much family here myself. (There are reasons that I just won't go into yet.)
That was a real big worry for me. What if there was an emergency? I was across the river in New York, and it was always in the back of my mind.
I don't remember when she finally told her mom, but I think it was around Thanksgiving. It was kind of funny actually, because Jess was there when she called, encouraging her. Jess was saying, "Just tell her already." And her mom said directly, "Why? What's up? Are you pregnant?"
And my wife sheepishly answered, "Yes".
And then her mom hung up on her.
I won't go into the details, but she eventually calmed down and accepted it. Let's just fast forward to days later when she was already excited and giving us advice and so on. And that was when I finally started telling people. Well, some people.
So Timeout Boy was unexpected. I was hoping to get a better job and have some savings before even considering marriage. But Timeout Boy couldn't wait.
In a way, it was kind of meant to be. I had just gotten my own place on August 2008, and by that September we were pregnant. My wife was looking for a gynecologist for birth control purposes, and it turns out we would be using her services while expecting. (And she retired soon after our baby was born). And my son's day care had just opened a few months before he came. Right now, he's the longest tenured toddler in the place.
Maybe it's all a coincidence though. I don't know. But I'm happy it happened. Because what the heck were we waiting for really? Years later, and I'm still in the same job anyway, so would we still be waiting by now? I can't imagine what life would be like anymore.
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