Thursday, February 9, 2012

Queue Tips: Extremely boring and incredibly long.

My friend asked me if I saw that extremely loud and obnoxious movie, and I told him I don't think that's the title of it.  He said, "Whatever.  That kid in the trailer looks really obnoxious anyway."  Well, I don't know.  He didn't seem that annoying to me, but he did seem like he couldn't really act, in my opinion.

As it turns out, the kid has no previous acting experience.  Apparently, he was a "Jeopardy!" champion and that somehow turned into an acting career.  So that's a lesson for you struggling actors out there.

I once saw an interview of Martin Scorsese talking about getting a chance to direct "Schindler's List".  He said he turned it down because it wasn't his kind of project.  So Steven Spielberg ended up directing it, and it turned out to be awesome.

I think there's some kind of a lesson to be learned in that.  I don't know that Stephen Daldry really should have been the director of "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close".  I'm sure he's been in the city, but I don't know that you can actually define him as a New Yorker.  As for his other films, I found "The Reader" to be extremely overrated, I found "The Hours" to be long and boring, and I didn't see "Billy Elliot".

You might know by now that the story has to do with 9/11.  So what's the first image you see?  A man free falling in the sky.

The protagonist is a nine year old kid named Oskar whose dad died in the attack.  He narrates with very deep thoughts and wide vocabulary, but he can only call it "the worst day."  Because it's so tragic.

He finds a key that his dad had hidden, and he resolves to find the lock that it opens.  Although he is deathly afraid of public transportation and noise and crowds and everything New York City, he somehow travels - on his own - around the area and somehow meets with interesting strangers.  Even the locksmith has some kind of philosophical view on keys and stuff.  Something about how they can open things.

The film is based on a novel, which I don't know anything about.  And I don't know what the novelist based his story on, and how much research he did.  But I just get the feeling that it was just some guy who decided to write about this topic on some kind of whim or lack of other inspiration.

The screenplay was adapted by Eric Roth, who did the same for "Forrest Gump" and "The Horse Whisperer", but those films were directed by Robert Zemeckis and Robert Redford.  So I guess people decided that if they have the money to purchase rights to a novel, they can just hire this guy to turn it into a screenplay.  And maybe it can get overhyped and overrated like "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", which I felt was totally wrong and different as far as the nature of the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, on which it was based.

The mom is played by Sandra Bullock.  How she keeps getting roles, I don't understand.  I've seen people on soap operas do better.  I've seen high school plays do better.  Tom Hanks, John Goodman and Viola Davis were a total waste of talent.


Oh, and by the way, the whole film is underscored.  It feels like it anyway.  Because it was so tragic.  There has to be emotional music underneath everything. 

Apparently, the director hoped to release this film in time for the tenth anniversary of 9/11.  I'm sure he was thinking of those families affected by the attack.  There's a scene in which the mom tells a stranger that her husband died there, and the stranger repeatedly hugs her.  That's how I feel the filmmakers hope the audiences would embrace their product.  Did the and the producers actually have good intentions with this film?  Maybe.  But even then, it feels misguided.

So to sum it up.  Take a topic that affects everyone universally.  Hire some big names.  Don't worry whether they're right for their roles.  Find some kid on a game show to carry the entire film.  Blow smoke up your own ass.

It's just so fucking Hollywood.

Anyways, check out "Reign Over Me" instead if you're looking for a film that deals with the topic.  If you want to see some annoying little shit in another film adaptation of a novel, watch Christian Bale in "Empire of the Sun".  If you want some annoying little shit named Oskar in a different adaptation of a novel, watch "The Tin Drum".

Also, speaking of keys, why can't I get a copy of my Jeep's key made?  I don't need the electronic parts of it.  I just need to be able to stick it in the door and open it in case I ever lock the actual key inside.  They can't duplicate it at Home Depot or something.  I have to take it to a dealer and it'll cost me a couple hundred bucks.  O-welles.  It's kinda tragic.  Maybe I'll write a movie about it.

And now here is a scene from "Family Guy":



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