Curious

As far as being jealous in the sense that I described yesterday, which is being afraid to lose something you already have, the only time I have felt that recently has been when it came to the players I was coaching.  When my younger son started playing hockey a few years ago, I ended up volunteering as a coach (which I have written about here previously).  And the kids in his age group were great.  I dreamed about them all staying together through the years, improving as a group and hopefully winning championships.

Something threw a wrench into that fantasy, however.  The rink where we practice and play games broke down.  It turned into a whole big issue, and it hasn't been operational in a couple of years.  Eventually, a couple of players opted to leave the organization.  They were basically the best on the team, and I guess their parents thought it was important to go somewhere where they could get consistent ice time.  I kinda sorta felt bad about it.  I think the main thing that really hurt was that they didn't tell me personally.  It would have been nice to let me know.  

When my older one was entering second year squirts, we tried out for three teams.  I did tell the other coaches we wouldn't be signing with them.  I think it's just the right thing to do.  Maybe if you didn't know them or anyone else on the team you're trying for, you can just move on and do your thing.  But I think once you've formed a relationship, spent a couple of seasons together, you should tell the coaches you're making a life changing decision.

We actually lost a third one, too.  But that one was kind of more understandable because he was originally with a different team and joined us midseason.  When I checked the rosters, I saw that he was playing up so I was actually kind of happy for him.  This was a kid who sometimes got in trouble and would often get yelled at.  With me, I usually tell these kids, "I'm trying to help you."  I reason with them and talk calmly with them instead of just yelling.  So we kind of connected a bit, and he didn't exactly turn into a role model, but he would mostly listen to me when I asked him to behave.  I don't know how he is doing with his new team, but I guess I wanted to see how much better his behavior could have gotten as one of my players.

The following year, we lost another one.  This one was kind of shocking.  His mother always told me how much he loved me.  And I think because of that, I took it for granted that they would always be around.  After the first three had left, this was basically our best player.  His mother was actually the team manager as well, so that added to the shock.  And again, they didn't say anything to me personally.  I guess it's because they play soccer with the kids of the other coaches, so they told them instead.  But still. 

This last season, we lost yet another one.  This one wasn't the best player this time, but one of.  He could have been great.  I'm jealous that his new coaches get the chance to bring that out but not me.  But at least this time, his parents did thank me for coaching him.  So that was nice.  He and my kid had gotten close so I was also worried about how my son would take it.  I didn't make a big deal of it, but eventually he noticed that his friend wasn't showing up to spring practices.  I really hoped they would be training partners and become great together.  

So that's kind of what I'm jealous of, I guess.  It's probably just an ego thing.  All but one of the kids I mentioned, I was there on their first day.  I wasn't a coach yet, but I got to see them all step on the ice for the first time.  I ended up helping a few weeks later, and I've watched them develop and become strong skaters.  I guess I wish I could have been there till the end.  Well, not the end, but hopefully until they turn pro.  That would be great if I could help them get to that.  If not, at least college.  Definitely I'm confident enough that I could guide them to make it onto their high school team.  I'll be curious about how they all turn out.