Binky, the Clown Who Saved Christmas

Have you ever watched "A Garfield Christmas Special"?  In that show, the dad reads Jon and his brother a book, about Binky The Clown.  He starts reading and then it transitions to the end.  But we never get to hear the middle.  

This Christmas break, I gave my kid a project.  He had to write the rest of the story.  Here it is:

Binky, The Clown Who Saved Christmas

By (*my kid)

Once upon a time, there was a clown named Binky. Binky loved children. Everytime Binky saw children he would say, “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!”

One day, Binky was out Christmas shopping. He saw a little boy and his sister looking at toys in the window of Timothy’s Toy Town, which was the most popular toy store in the city. So, he yelled out, “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!” The boy and girl jumped. “Hiya kiddies! I’m Binky the clown.” Binky said cheerfully. The boy replied, “H-hi. M-m-my name’s Omar. A-and this is my si-si-sister, Jayla.” Binky asked them, “Why are ya standing outside the store? Just go inside and buy some toys!” Jayla told him sadly, “We’re poor sir, so we can’t buy the toys.”

Binky felt sorry for them, so he handed them each 20 bucks and said, “Go ahead. Knock yourselves out.” The kids stared at the money, and then ran into the store so fast, Binky thought they had disappeared.

Chuckling, Binky started to walk home with his groceries and toys. Before he could, people screamed. Binky turned around, and he saw a man wearing black and white striped clothes, and a black mask. The man had a big sack, and a black beard. He also had a gun pointing at Omar and Jayla! Binky ran over to help, but had to stop, because the man yelled out, “Now nobody move, or the little childers get it.” Everyone did as he said. “Good. Now, I want you to put all your toys, money, and jewelry into this sack.” Everyone did. Quick as a flash, the man ran away.

Binky asked the children, “Are you ok?” “Yes,” they said. “We’re fine.” One man said to his friend, “Well, looks like I have to go to Farmer Fred’s Toy Shed.” His friend shook his head sadly and told him, “No, you can’t because the man also robbed that store too. In fact, he robbed every toy store in the city.” Everyone gasped. “Now no one will have any presents this year!” a woman cried. “And what’s worse, we don’t even have any money because he robbed the bank!” A banker sobbed.

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!” Binky yelled. There was instant quiet. “Let’s all calm down here. I think I know where to find this person so we can get the money and toys back.” “And don’t forget the jewelry!” chimed in a rich lady. “How can you find the robber?” asked her husband, giving her a glare. “Because he’s zapping himself with a grow-i-nator gadget and is now the size of the empire state building.” Binky responded grimly.

Everyone whips around and stares at the laughing robber. “HAHA!” he yelled. “NOW I AM AS BIG AS PAUL BUNYAN! TIME FOR ME TO MAKE MY ESCAPE! SO LONG, SUCKERS!” He starts to walk towards the sea. “If he reaches the sea, we’ll never catch him!” whined the rich woman. Binky thought fast, and thought of a plan.

Binky raced to the gadget. Zapping himself, he grew to the same size as the robber. “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!” he yelled. The robber turned around. He growled, and pulled out his gun. But before he could shoot, Binky threw a pie right in his face! The robber raised his hands to wipe off the pie, and that's when Binky pulled out a circus cannon and blasted a pie in his stomach. When the robber bent over, Binky blasted another pie into his face. Then, Binky tackled him into the shallow part of the sea. Putting one of his huge shoes onto the robber’s face, Binky picked up the sack, and said, “Now, you can rob your cellmates in jail, instead.” Suddenly, Binky, the sack, and the robber all shrunk down. The cops came and arrested the robber as Binky handed out the money, toys, and jewelry. “Congrats Binky!” said a cop. “This robber had been robbing toy stores and banks from all over the world. Now he can’t do that anymore!” So Binky saved Christmas for children from all over the world.

The End

After he finished it, I read the story to them.  And they would say, "Dad, say it the way Binky says it."  And I would.  And they would laugh hysterically.  Well, we have a new Christmas tradition.