Queue Tips: Have a Ball

So near the beginning of "Thunderball", James Bond is strapped onto a contraption by some kind of a health worker.  And then she just leaves him.  Where did she go?  To the bathroom?  Isn't she at work?  The guy almost dies because somebody messes with the settings.  Of course, he could have just shot or stabbed or choked him.

Did the audiences realize how camera tricks were done?  Did they recognize when the film was sped up?  Did they notice when a scene had rear screen projection?  Did they know when they were matted out?  I think they definitely knew when actions were done by stunt men.  It's pretty obvious when it's shot wide and you can't see the characters' faces.

Anyways, the underwater scenes were cool.  I definitely remember watching them as a child.  My friends and I would sometimes pretend we were fighting underwater.

Queue Tips: Long Gold Fing-Longer

Spoiler alert: in the beginning of "Goldfinger", James Bond is alone in a hotel room with a girl when he gets knocked out and later wakes up to find the girl dead.  So yeah.  Instead of killing him, too, they just left him there to discover the crime.

There's a scene where a plane flies over a bunch of soldiers spraying some kind of gas, and everybody falls asleep in a perfectly choreographed manner.  I could totally buy into it as a kid.  But I can't believe audiences would suspend their disbelief for this.  And that the producers expected them to.

Anyways, the soundtrack and score are pretty cool.  The horns in the music sound glorious.  Shirley Bassey's voice in the beginning is powerful.  I found it amusing watching a sophisticated gentleman continuously saying "Pussy" with a straight face.

If Goldfinger had a Fing-Longer, he would have a long gold fing-longer, I think.  Incidentally, it autocorrects as ding-longer, which I am not gonna take you there.  Also, incidentally, "Futurama" is coming back apparently.

Queue Tips: Why You Russian?

Spoiler alert: "From Russia With Love" begins with James Bond being killed quickly and efficiently.  But wait!  It's fake news.  It's not actually James Bond.  When it's the real James Bond, they device an elaborate scheme and give him a chance to escape.

Again, when I was a child, it was fun to watch because of the action scenes.  I think I also fed off the excitement of the adults who looked forward to Bond films.  I never really understood the plot.  It is interesting to watch it now as a study of film history.  However, it is not something I can view seriously.  I just keep asking, "Why don't they just kill each other?"  Get it over with.  Stop playing stupid games and just end it.

Anyways, what's the fastest country in the world?

Queue Tips: No Means No

So this is the first installment of the James Bond films.  Spoiler alert: it starts with a guy being shot in broad daylight and then his body taken away.  Quick and easy.  So then, later on when the bad guys decide to try to kill Bond, they decide to put drop a tarantula on him while he is sleeping.  Really?  A spider?  Who kills with a spider, honestly?  Like, what is this, a trained tarantula?  How did they know it actually intended to bite him?  What if he wasn't in the mood?

I did appreciate it for what it was.  Old school film making.  Rear screen projection.  Day for night scenes.  Practical effects.  Misogyny.  Stereotypes.

You can see the appeal, of course.

If Dr. No had been Japanese, his name would have meant Dr. Of.  Doctor of what?  LOL.  But he was Chinese.  Played by a white guy.  I used Google translate, and apparently in Chineses, No means No.  But not to James Bond.  The irony.  

My dad was a big fan of these films.  I think he fancied himself to be like James Bond.  After my mom moved to the United States, their underlying marital problems was exacerbated.  He accused her of being unfaithful.  In one of their arguments, he stated that he knew what it was like in America because he's seen it in the movies.

Anyway, the "T-minus 10 seconds and counting" countdown thing was definitely a familiar thing that I recalled seeing as a child.  My cousins and I would typically repeat it during our games that we would play.  I feel like that has been in other Bond movies.  If not, I guess I must have seen Dr. No as a child then.

I don't think we knew the order the movies came out.  Sometimes we didn't know which actor we would be seeing.  At least, us kids didn't.  We didn't care either way though.  We didn't know what was going on most of the time.  We just knew there was the hero and the bad guys.  And the action sequences were pretty cool.

As an adult, I still think the stunts are pretty impressive.  The fight scenes are not.  (One punch usually knocks out a henchman.  At one point, they hold down James Bond to beat him up, and the guy chops him in the neck.)  The plot and the devices are a bit silly.  It really is just a live action cartoon, if you think about it.  I think that's probably not the first time that's been said.  I guess it's not the last either.

I didn't catch whether Dr. No was a doctor of medicine, or dentistry, or if he earned a PhD and where.  I do like the 1960s sci-fi look though.  And film stock and film grain is just glorious.  No matter what you think of the plot, it must have been an amazing experience at the theatre.

Bonding

At some point in the late 1990s or early 2000s, ABC decided to air James Bond movies every week.  The first one, of course, was "Dr. No".  I didn't recall having seen it before, so I decided to tune in.  I wasn't a big Bond fan or anything, but it seemed to go too slow for me.  I think during the first commercial break, I ended up changing the channel and never did finish the movie.

I'm not sure why I had never seen this movie before, because I have a bunch of memories with Bond films growing up.  Our family got a betamax player in the late 1980s, and we rented Bond movies and watched them together.  I remember friends and family gathered together, and pronouncing Sean Connery as "Seen Connery" when reading the opening credits.

Before my mom left for the United States in 1989, we would stay up late and watch Bond films.  I tried to, anyway, but I never could stay up for the whole.  I remember falling asleep on her lap soon after the action scenes in the beginning.  There were a few nights when this happened.  I recall the feeling that my mom looked forward not only to the movie, but to me being next to her and falling asleep.  Maybe one of those films was "Dr. No".

I think I would ask her what happened the following day.  It was probably too much to explain.  And then I would stay up again the next night.  I don't know.  Maybe it was only two nights altogether, but I recall the feeling that it was a regular thing for at least a week.  I think I was probably clingy knowing that she would be going away.

Kind of like real life, I never really understood what was going on.  I was just trying to observe the action and trying my best to stay up for all of it.  Sometimes you just have to let go and get your rest.

Queue Tips: White Noise

I can't remember what I finished watching, but the next recommended thing that popped up was  "Ozark". I was in the middle of something so I absent-mindedly clicked it.  It picked up where I left off.  I had actually tried to watch it months ago while not busy.  

When I was actually focused on watching the show, I didn't really care much for it.  I didn't really care for the characters or their problems.  However, it actually turned out to be bearable as background noise while working at home.  

You don't even have to watch it to actually understand what is going on.  The characters spell out everything for you.  Over and over again.  Dialogue tells you exactly that they are laundering money for a Mexican cartel, for example.  No slang, no lingo, no code, no subtlety.  If you miss an important plot detail, you don't have to worry because they will recap it for you.  Over and over.

It seems to have been written by a 12 year old "Breaking Bad" fan, who really liked it and was allowed to make their own show.  A guy just trying to take care of his family gets caught up in a big crime thing and stuff.  Apparently, this guy is so highly skilled at what he is doing that this big criminal organization will go out of their way to make him work for them, even killing their long trusted members. Kind of like "Breaking Bad".  Just when you think they are about to die, they manage to talk their way out of it.  And big plot twists where they kill their own people instead of this random guy, you know, because he is so highly skilled. 

It seems to have lasted a few seasons, so I think there are people who like it.  Click "Watch" if you want.  But you don't have to actually watch it.

Queue Tips: Uncut Gems

Unwatchable crap.  Half an hour in, and I had to stop it.  I don't get it.  I don't want to get it.  I don't have time to try and get it.  There are a lot better things to do with my time.